Alrighty then guys and gals, hands up who wants to go live in Majorna, Sweden? Would it help if I told you that the County Administrative Court has just ruled that local authorites must subsidize a man’s Viagra prescription. Hmm, imagine cheap Viagra…geez that town will be a rockin! OK, sure the poor man is impotent but it opens the door to other people claiming it as ” essential to a reasonable quality of life.” Imagine the tourist potential there! All the court has to do now is work out what is considered a reasonable sex life in order to work out how much Viagra the man should receive and then wow, watch the erectile dusfunction rate skyrocket!
Psst The only place in the world where it is good to be hard up!
One of the many hazards of texting while walking is the possibility of falling down a manhole. Hmm, just ask Alexa Longueira. She was merrily texting away on a street in Staten Island when she suddenly plummeted down a sewer manhole. Oooh a tweeter lands on her twat! Those damn maintenance workers had just turned their backs for one sec when…whoops… down she went. Oh yes and of course the Longueira family are suing. No one puts our baby in the sewer!
Well there goes Father’s Day for a start! Vancouver police officer Clyde Ray Spencer spent nearly 20 years behind bars for molesting his children. That’s right folks…lucky to get 10 for murder these days. But the bitch of the thing is the children lied, well were coerced. Awkward! Daddy dearest was innocent.Both his adult children testified in court this week that the crime did not happen and that they were hounded by detective Sharon Krause (now retired) to make false statements. For years and years Spencer declared his innocence and attempted many appeals. He was also denied parole 5 times because he refused to admit guilt or enter a sex offenders program. It was later revealed that the prosecutor withheld the children’s medical examinations which showed there was no evidence of sexual abuse despite Krause’s claims the children were violently and repeatedly raped. Clint have you got time for another movie?
Psst It didn’t help that Spencer’s ex wife continually told the children they were blocking out the memory!
Barry Kenny was facing court after being accused of flashing his penis at a female train guard on a journey from Newcastle to Hartlepool. Hmm, luckily for Mr Kenny he had one distingushing feature that the female guard failed to mention. Mr Kenny has a 2 inch friggin lizard tattoo running along his penis. After flashing his penis to the judge, all charges were dropped. Ooh, but before he left the stand Mr Kenny wanted to cleared up one little fact , the lizard tatt was 7 inches long!
Gee, when two year old Natalie Jasmer from Pennsylvania plays hide and seek , she plays to win. Natalie’s siblings were having a hard time finding her during a game of hide and seek, in fact they couldn’t find her at all. The kids told the parents who in turn went looking for her but to no avail. Then the police, emergency crews and friends had a turn but they couldn’t find hide nor hair of her either.Gosh eventually it was left up to the family dog Copper to find the toddler. Natalie had found the best hiding spot ever , in the drawer underneath the family washing machine. Hmm, but it had taken so long for anyone to find her she simply fell asleep. So I guess that was game over!
Oh this is so easy. There is no way on earth I would want to be Peter Harvey, the teacher charged with attempted murder after having beaten Jack Waterhouse to a pulp. Despite the discussions about what a fantastic teacher he was and how he was provoked into the attack, one thing is clear. A teacher has the responsibility of protecting his or her students. Parents place their faith and trust in the school and staff to provide that safety (regardless of if their child is a misbehaving shit or not). OK, hindsight is a wonderful thing but it is clear that Mr Harvey had not completely recovered from his stroke. Unfortunately when people snap, they snap. You can go on and on about it but the bottom line is you can’t undo the undo-able. Mr Harvey will have to live with what he has done for the rest of his life. As for Jack, the road ahead is unclear and so too the students who witnessed it.
Move over Heather Mills, Australia has one upped you, the Aussie version of Dancing With the Stars has a blind man in its line up. But it hasn’t been all that rosy for blind Paralympian Gerrard Gosen after having amazed the audience with his waltz during the season opener.Firstly, a minor tiff with his dancing partner, Jessica Raffa, soured the first performance and left everyone a little bemused, wondering if the pressure was too much for the duo. Hmm adding to that, this week during rumba rehearsals Gosen missed his position and accidentally dropped Raffa, causing her to crash to the floor. Me thinks that rift just widened. Raffa had to be taken to hospital for CAT scans and an MRI.
As the week draws to a close and the news all but dries up I thought I would rummage through YouTube and find something to entertain you. So here is what I found ….
Oh dear, anyone who has ever used the “translate” button on the Internet knows it pretty much sucks. So imagine the hilarity when a leading French business newspaper decided to use a similar product to translate their stories. Hmm, too cheap to pay staff huh? Yep, La Tribune is hoping to reach a large international audience by automating its stories into foreign languages. Geez, I hope their readers enjoyed the Da Vinci Code because so far the site has been spewing out ambiguous sentences like “Ryanair loan to make travel of the passengers upright,” and “After the paying toilets, ones surtaxes for the largest passengers”. Come on people, even Google admit their translation software isn’t the best. If you are really serious about getting a wider audience stop being such tight wads and hire journalists to translate the articles, like the BBC. Otherwise your readers will be forced to go to other news source to work out what the hell you are on about!
Just when you thought it was safe to put away your Thriller album! Oh for goodness sakes people, are we not over Michael Jackson yet? Even the friggin squirrels are getting in on the act! Shouldn’t they be playing with their nuts?
Well there goes Father’s Day for a start! Vancouver police officer Clyde Ray Spencer spent nearly 20 years behind bars for molesting his children. That’s right folks…lucky to get 10 for murder these days. But the bitch of the thing is the children lied, well were coerced. Awkward! Daddy dearest was innocent.Both his adult children testified in court this week that the crime did not happen and that they were hounded by detective Sharon Krause (now retired) to make false statements. For years and years Spencer declared his innocence and attempted many appeals. He was also denied parole 5 times because he refused to admit guilt or enter a sex offenders program. It was later revealed that the prosecutor withheld the children’s medical examinations which showed there was no evidence of sexual abuse despite Krause’s claims the children were violently and repeatedly raped. Clint have you got time for another movie?
Oh dear, anyone who has ever used the “translate” button on the Internet knows it pretty much sucks. So imagine the hilarity when a leading French business newspaper decided to use a similar product to translate their stories. Hmm, too cheap to pay staff huh? Yep, La Tribune is hoping to reach a large international audience by automating its stories into foreign languages. Geez, I hope their readers enjoyed the Da Vinci Code because so far the site has been spewing out ambiguous sentences like “Ryanair loan to make travel of the passengers upright,” and “After the paying toilets, ones surtaxes for the largest passengers”. Come on people, even Google admit their translation software isn’t the best. If you are really serious about getting a wider audience stop being such tight wads and hire journalists to translate the articles, like the BBC. Otherwise your readers will be forced to go to other news source to work out what the hell you are on about!
