Gold Toilet Tycoon Dead

The man with the 24-carat solid gold toilet has died suddenly in Hong Kong. Lam Sai-wing, the owner of the $5.8 million solid gold toilet, built it in honor of his childhood hero Vladimir Lenin, who once said that gold “should be used to make toilets after the victory of socialism to remind people of capitalist waste.” The self made millionaire made his fortune in jewelery (heading the Hang Fung Gold Technology Group) but it was his golden lavatory that attracted thousands of people to his showroom and made him the synonymous with lavish loos. Inside the restroom you can also view the toilet and a gold toilet bush holder but you can’t use it. The toilet known as the Hall of Gold has been recognized by the Guinness Book of Records.In 2008 rumors circulated that the toilet would be melted down if the gold price reached $1,000 an ounce. Sai-wing assured the public that the toilet would remain in tact but he couldn’t vouch for the toilet brush holder ! So far there are no suspicious circumstances surrounding his sudden death. Lam Sai-wing was 53.

UPDATE : Wouldn’t you know it, the widow of Lam Sai-Wing has been arrested (along with 4 other people) for the theft of HK$179 million worth of gold bars from the vault of the famed “golden toilet” company.Jane Chan Yam-fai had only buried her husband three weeks ago. you just wonder if his death was by natural causes hmm!Yesterday’s arrests follow reports that the Commercial Crime Bureau (CCB ) had launched an investigation into allegations a top 3D-Gold executive stole(wonder who that would be?) as much as HK$200 million from the company.
No charges have been filed yet.

Friggin Recessions

It seems the US economy isn’t the only one feeling the pain, several countries around the world have fallen into that nightmare known as RECESSION. Ireland was the first to go, followed closely by New Zealand. It is feared that Germany, Spain and Britain are next. So what actually is a recession ? Well Wiki reckons its “a significant decline in economic activity spread across the economy, lasting more than a few months, normally visible in real GDP, real income, employment, industrial production, and wholesale-retail sales.” Oh crap, that sounds bad! So, I thought the Loon should keep a recession list score card so we can all follow the rapid decline of the world. Here goes …

Whoops, there goes Iceland into bankruptcy. Welcome Aboard the Recession Express UK! Hello Singapore, grab a seat. What took you so long USA? Not like you to be so goddamn tardy, considering you started this whole mess! Make room guys, Germany is here…Ciao Italy….mushi mushi Japan first recession in 7 years (did you break a mirror?). Move aside people, Spain is coming through. Oh boy their last recession was in 1993 (so they should be pretty use to it by now!).

The recession in Spain falls mainly on the plain

Very Nice

I am thinking Miuccia Prada just breathed a huge sigh of relief that Borat’s alter ego, Bruno, has turned the focus of Italy’s fashion week well and truly away from her High heels.Looking like a Vivienne Westwood model, Sacha Baron Cohen, paraded down the catwalk in his velcro number, before anyone realized he wasn’t part of the show. As security dragged the comedian away, several people were rumored to have been interested in the design! Agata Luiz della Prada show is the latest victim of Sacha’s new doco Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. Sacha was detained by police but was later released without charge but I think he had to sign a few autographs for his troubles.

UPDATE : Dude, give up already, they are on to you. The third unexpected appearance by Bruno (aka Sacha Baron Cohen) has left the fashion world bemused. The latest catwalk invasion happened at Jean-Charles de Castelbajac’s in Paris and resulted once again in his eviction from the event. Call me a cynic, but no publicity is bad publicity and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t get secretly invited to disrupt these fashion shows.

Oh By the Way Daddy I am a Pole Dancer!

Not that kind of pole dancing silly!

What could you do to really piss your father off. I guess if he was a radical cleric, pole dancing for starters. Holy heart attack, I never thought I would use pole dancer and radical Islamic cleric in the same sentence! Yasmin Fostok, the daughter of radical Islamic cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed, has admitted to having pole danced in London nightclubs (she’s brave!). Lucky for her, papa lives in Lebanon. His response to her admission “If she has done these things she will be judged on Judgment Day. But God will forgive her anything except becoming a non-Muslim.” I wonder what he will say when he discovers that Yasmin also performs a fire-eating routine and dances semi-naked inside cages. Fly on that wall!

Friggin Hospitals

Pregnant, how about you?

Imagine the look on 71 year old retired lumberjack John Grady Pippen’s face when he was told he was pregnant. Following a visit to a Oregon hospital, after experiencing nasty abdominal pain, he received paperwork from the hospital which read in part ” Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant.” It seems someone hit the wrong key on the hospital’s computer (whew!).Lucky for John, now he won’t have to worry about getting maternity wear!

And while we are on the subject of hospitals, a West Virginia man is accusing a doctor of stapling his butt shut during an operation which rendered him incapable of doing # 2′s for 17 days! . Dear god what is going on. Ronald Watkins believes that Dr Manuel Casiano blotched the operation but the Doc has fired back saying that Mr Watkin’s rectum was swollen shut and not stapled at all. Sounds like there’s going to be two sorry butts after this trial!

Nigger Brown Grandstand To Go

Indigenous activist Stephen Hagan, who has fought for 10 years to stop the word “nigger” being used on a football grandstand, has won his fight. The grandstand in question (which is to be pulled down) was originally named in honor of E.S.”Nigger” Brown, but in our days of political correctness the “N” word seemed out of place and simply wrong (and fair enough).The Queensland Government have ruled that the “n” word can not be used even on a plaque or statue to honor the player. By the way, for those who are interested, E.S.Brown was a white Anglo Saxon footballer.So, now that fight has been won, Hagan has his sights on getting Kraft to remove the word “Coon” from their cheese. You see “coon” is another derogatory word used to describe an aboriginal. The manufacturers of the cheese argue that the offending cheese was named after Edward Coon a famous cheese maker and isn’t intended to be racist. Hagan argues that the cheese was originally wrapped in black packaging and was named “coon” as a joke. He believes that there is no evidence to suggest Edward Coon made cheese.

Political Stunt Goes Wrong

Hello, need some attention here!

Leena Jangjanya, a candidate running for governor of Bangkok, had a major PR crisis when one of her campaign managers drowned during a political stunt. To make matter worse, the man in question, was in the middle of the canal waving for help but everyone ignored him because they thought he was showing off for the camera’s (oh dear!). The stunt involved Leena and her entourage paddling into a canal to show how filthy the water was. As she showed off her rashes to the media, her campaign manager was still in the water, drowning.And of Leena’s future “If I were to continue to campaign after his death, I would be no better than an animal,”.

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

Do you think he'll notice?

Whoops, a Kentucky doctor has been accused of removing a man’s penis instead of giving him a circumcision (easy mistake?).Seems the 61 year old went in for a routine snip and came out with nothing (I bet his wife was impressed!). The doctor’s excuse was that he thought he detected cancer, so he removed it as a precautionary measure. Hmm, a skin cancer OK,yes, maybe, but a guy’s manhood? That’s worth waking him up and checking before removing, don’t you think? Well, look on the bright side, it turns out that his penis didn’t have cancer!

Want to Know What Winehouse Had For Lunch?

Amy Winehouse, bless! Imagine the horror of some poor Harvey Nichols assistant on opening up a package from Amy WInehouse and discovering a pile of clothing covered in vomit. Add into that horror the green fungi growing on the silk apparel. I’m thinking the smell wouldn’t be good either. Evidently, Harvey Nichols sent the trainwreck some silk and satin frocks to wear for London Week (it’s their own fault) which was, oh, so long ago. This week a courier returned them, with evidence of what she had been up to, all over the dresses. An unnamed source said “While wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender. She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.” Evidently only one dress had the songstress’s sick on it, but she threw everything in together and whoala $25,000  of designer labels destroyed. If I was Harvey Nichols I’d be chucking them up (pardon the pun) on eBay because some sucker would pay a fortune for Amy’s DNA. Dear god, Winehouse cloning!

Under Siege By Gordon Gekko

OK, so which one of you wants it now?

You have to worry when George .W. tells Americans that their “entire economy is in danger”.Poor old Obama and McCain got dragged into the White House to be warned, face to face, of the oncoming economic woes.I am thinking the two candidates are a little less excited about becoming the 44th president of the United States, now!. Rumor has it they were both whispering to each other..”no you can have it”…”no, you can!” Hillary is thanking her lucky cigar she got ousted before the shit hit the fan and George is just glad that his time is nearly up. Meanwhile, the Gordon Gekkoes are cleaning out their desks and grabbing their big old pay outs on their way through the revolving doors.