Lost In Translation

Whoops.It seemed like a simple enough request. The Swansea council sent an email to its in-house translation service to have a road sign “No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only” translated into Welsh (as is compulsory). Problem was the Welsh translator wasn’t in at the time and the council were sent this message (in Welsh mind you) “I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated”. You guessed it, no one at Swansea council could speak Welsh,so they printed the message on their bilingual road sign.The result was some very confused Welsh truck drivers and a very red faced council. I suppose that this mistake wasn’t as bad as the last translating gaff where a sign for pedestrians in Cardiff read ‘Look Right’ in English and ‘Look Left’ in Welsh.

Police Stop a 5 and 7 Year Old From Marrying

Meet the bride and groom!

Sure lets end a eight year family feud . OK, I’ll get my 7 year old son to marry your 5 year old daughter and we will call it quits. Karachi police gatecrashed the wedding of these two tiny tykes who were about to end a family feud by taking wedding vows. The Muslim cleric who was officiating the ceremony was arrested along with the kids parents.I bet the 100 guests who rocked up for the nuptials weren’t too happy (no cake!).I don’t know what they were thinking because Pakistan law forbids marriage under the age of 18.Now the parents are looking at a one month jail sentence and a $10 fine (who’s going to babysit the kids?).

Kent Council Hopes To See You dead

The Kent Council “We hope to see you dead soon” campaign probably sounded like a good idea at the time. That was, until the public saw it and were appalled. Oh well. The objective of the £85,000 campaign was to persuade people to slow down but it seems the satirical approach has provoked road rage instead.  One of the ads features an undertaker saying “We hope to see you dead soon.”and another has town hall workers standing around the coffin smiling and holding balloons.Hmm, lets see, the ad campaign has so far been  described as “sick and crass”, “tasteless”, “insensitive” and “unacceptable” (nice selection of adjectives). Lisa Caleno was given the task of defending the council’s creative decisions by saying “Rather than adopt a preaching tone, the commercial takes a satirical angle. Its aim is to change people’s attitudes by getting them to engage their senses and to pay more attention while on the road.” ( isn’t it more like enraged their senses). Oh they are so going to be doing preaching tone commercials next time don’t you think?

You Can Leave Your Hat On!

Oh dear, Hungarian parents are up in arms over a German teacher, Teresa Juhasz, who decided to play a little bit of Truth or Dare with their kids.Hmm, seems they were hell bent on her doing a little pole dancing for them. And guess what? They got their wish. The 15 year olds were being supervised at a Zalaegerszeg High School when the unnamed teacher decided to join in a game of Truth or Dare with the students.When asked to do a pole dance she began to take off her clothes.Well the rest you can see for yourself!
Despite complaints from horrified parents the school is refusing to dismiss the sex kitten. The Head of the school said “I was forced to give the German teacher a warning, but I will not dismiss her because she is a valuable teacher for our institution,” (I bet!).
You can leave your hat on!

Dear Mr Obama

Wanna see the number one YouTube Presidential Election video. Whew, 11 million people have watched it and it didn’t cost him a dime. Well it did cost him something, but I ain’t giving it away. Now if McCain and Obama just did YouTube we could have a Presidential Election under $10…..

Hey, Mutley Will You Marry Me?

But I have no penis?

Now stop it, its going too far. A Japanese man is starting up a petition to make marriages between humans and cartoon characters legal in Japan. Oh loon alert indeed! Hmm, seems Taichi Takashita is a lot more comfortable amongst his two-dimensional friends than we first thought! And fair enough, if you want to be the permanent bread winner feel free, but I bet the sex sucks! Taichi is aiming at getting a million signatures (via the internet) to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters (like to be a fly on that wall!).Sadly, Japan only permits marriage between human men and women (those bastards!) and gives no legal recognition to same-sex relationships, so I am guessing the answer will be ‘hell no’. One thousand have already put their name on his petition. So I guess if you want a divorce all your need is an eraser? Will the children be in watercolor or ink (gloss or matt?). Whew, lucky for our little cyber Avatar killer the laws aren’t in yet, she could have actually been charged with murder! Well, Tauchi is optimistic , he plans to marry long-legged manga character Mikuru Asahina as soon as the laws are passed . Hmm, lets see him get past all the copyright laws (an even harder task!) That’s all folks!

A Friggin Nice Story

OK, grab the tissue box here comes a feel good story. Marilyn Mock stand up and take a bow. Marilyn went off to a foreclosure auction to help her son bid for a house but instead she bought it and gave it back to its distraught owner. Nancy Orr of Dallas was unable to keep up payments on her $80,000 home and was forced into forclosure. During the auction Marilyn began talking to a tearful and distraught Ms Orr. Without even seeing inside the house or really knowing the red eyed woman from a bar of soap she decided to buy the house (for $30,000) and then gave it right back to her.Nancy can now make payments to Marilyn and the banks now get friggin zip! When interviewed by the Dallas Morning News Marilyn’s response was “She needed help. That was it,I just happened to be there and anybody else would have done the same thing.” You go girl. Oh and for anyone wondering Marilyn’s son got a house too (yay).

Photo of Murdered Child Used as Prop on a Soap Opera

What the? General Hospital has made a soap opera out of it’s soap opera. The controversy in question can be found in the “Night Shift” episode in which a hospital worker (played by Billy Dee Williams) receives a letter and photograph from a son he apparently abandoned. The only problem is the photograph is actual of a real child, 6 year old Christopher Barrios, who in 2007 was kidnapped, raped and murdered then dumped in a garbage bin by a convicted child molester. And how do we know this ? The photo was the same one handed out to media outlets when Christopher actually went missing.Whoops! A statement released by the ABC network read in part “We offer our deepest condolences to the Barrios family for their loss and our sincerest apologies for any pain caused by our mistake,”. No one has been able to explain how the photo got on the set in the first place, because normal policy is to use an image of a child actor. The boy’s grandmother Sue Rodriquez told SoapNET “First, who gave them permission to use his picture? Second, I’m glad I don’t watch this kind of mess,soap operas,because if I had seen Christopher’s picture on there, I would have gone nuts,”. Ewh what a unlucky mess to get into and get out of!

Squirrel Gets Caught Eating Too Many Nuts

Don't touch my nuts!

I never said they were smart! A greedy little grey squirrel from Dorset has been rescued by the RSPCA after it found it couldn’t get itself out of the wire framed bird feeder.The little rodent had managed to squeeze itself through the bars of the feeder to get to the peanuts but after having gorged itself senseless, was too fat to squeeze back out.Graham Hammond who rescued the tubby little tyke said “I think this squirrel had eyes bigger than its stomach but after it had stuffed itself with nuts, it had a stomach too large to escape the feeder – one which ironically, was designed to be squirrel proof.” Yay, squirrel was last seen waddling off for a  little rest and a lie down.

Gary Rego Delivers a Memorable Speech

OMG, a 16 year old head boy makes an abusive graduation speech and he has 60,000 people watching him on YouTube (not to mention world wide media attention).Damn he’s good. OK, so the ranting ex head boy, ex Christi Corpus graduate, ex year book participant probably didn’t really want or expect to get this much attention, but he did. Gary just wanted to make a point , problem was it was in front of 700 people and a video camera. Gary Rego, Corpus Christi’s head boy (past tense), who recently lost three of his school mates in a horrific car accident, launched a tirade at the school’s administration during his graduation dinner speech . His anger was directed at both the Principal Vaughan Sadler and Vice Principal Sue Baker. As he addressed the horrified crowd and ranted on about the schools authoritarian dictatorship ways, a couple of guys looking like secret service men place their hands over the microphone and drag him off stage (ooh so did he have a point?). Enter dude with video camera. He posted the entire speech on YouTube and before you know it the media had sniffed out a story. Then in an interview on a popular current affairs show the acting Principal Sue Baker said, the problem was giving the students freedom of speech. Ewh, here’s a shovel start digging! The prestigious Catholic school isn’t making it any easier on themselves as they try desperately to stop this story spinning way out of control. And as for Gary (spare a thought for him), he has lost his three mates, head boy title,the right to sit exams and his reputation all in a few months. Whew, what a year and what a speech! I hope Gary finds a school that will let him sit his final year exams. I guess he wont bother asking for a reference. Oh and to everyone sitting their exams, good luck ! PS: Can anyone shed some light as to why the original Gary Rego speech has been removed from YouTube and been replaced with the same footage bearing the West Australian newspaper logo? Hmm….

Oh and it is worth a laugh to go on YouTube and watch the Gary Rego response video(LOL!). Oh for goodness sakes you lazy tykes here it is…