No need to be alarmed!
Psst, don’t tell anyone, but last weekend a research vessel accidentally cut off a whale’s left tail fluke with its propeller. The North Atlantic right whale, which the federal agency are assigned to protect, is endangered (whoops) and only has a population of about 400… hmm… make that 399 and 9/10ths. The leading cause of human related deaths of these large ocean creatures is ship strikes (what a coincidence)! Officials at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration have assured us the animal is OK (it just swims around in circles now!…kidding).
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What a twisted tale! Still, its not worth blubbering about or wailing over….or even ‘harpoon’ on about!
Really! I can put forward a few hypotheses about this issue but will limit myself to my favourite (OK favorite.) I suspect that whales are smarter, more socially adroit and better organized than, like, researchers for example. I think they have adopted a whale version of “posse comitatus” and have decided to mob research vessels in an attempt to stop the carnage of their peers. Because our mouth breathing bozos are, like, mouth breathing bozos, they don’t know what they’re doing to provoke these tragedies and, like, in addition, our top drawer shit-for-brains bozos haven’t had the time to scrape their sand into a pile and figure it out. Now, my second hypothesis . . .
love y’all