I am guessing it was a particular word that caught the eye of Croatian Prime Minister Jadranka Kosor and not her master of the English language that lead to a cameraman’s immediate sacking. During a government session Kosor spied one the RTL TV cameraman wearing a “I don’t need sex. The government f**** me every day” t-shirt. Kosor was so shocked and insulted by the act she requested his immediate dismissal (well, his t-shirt said it all really!). In his defence the cameraman said he wore it because it was the only clean t-shirt he had. Sounds right!
Monthly Archives: July 2009
Hmm, it is either a case of too much Saki or there really was a someone in a gorilla suit. An employee of Jimmy’s Japanese Hibachi was taking out the trash when from out of the darkness came a gorilla who proceeded to punch him in the head. OK, it wasn’t a real ape just someone in a gorilla suit but it sounds way better. Then like out of a Jackie Chan movie he wrestled the gorilla for awhile before running back into the restaurant (oh, with the gorilla in hot pursuit). As the gorilla ran to the cash register, our brave “Jimmy’s” employee grabbed a meat cleaver and whacked it into the gorilla’s arm. Last thing he remembers is seeing the gorilla flee with the cleaver still stuck in the suit.
The ultimate Christmas gift for someone who has everything. Why not get them the Pope Benedict XVI Christmas album. Yippee. Wouldn’t you just love to hear him chanting to some of the best known prayers in Latin, Italian, Portuguese, French and German? Hmm, it is also rumored he may even throw in some modern classical music. Colin Barlow, the president of Geffen (the people who gave you Guns n’ Roses, Elton John, Donna Summer and Snoop Dogg) said “The Pope has got almost a lullaby tone to the way he sings,”. Does that mean it will put you to sleep? Oh and before I forget, some bad news for the ipodders amongst us, no downloadable songs, you’ll have to buy the Cd. Bummer.
You are 7 years old and don’t want to go to church, what do you do? Steal your dad’s car of course. Bless, the seven year old was so determined not to attend the Sunday sermon he took off in his dad’s Dodge. The kid reportedly ran a few stop signs and swerved all over the road at 45mph (because his feet could hardly reach the accelerator) with the cops in hot pursuit. He eventually made it home and went running into his house to hide. Of course I have footage of the little devil in action…
OK, I must admit I have gagged on many a person’s perfume, but please! Thirty four staff from a Texas call centre at the Bank of America were taken to hospital after a co-worker squirted some perfume in the air. Hmm, let me guess, was it cheap and nasty? Mass hysteria ensued with people complaining of dizziness, chest pains, headaches and shortness of breath. Many feared it was a chemical attack by terrorists (Eau de Anthrax). In total, nearly 150 people were affected by the fumes and 12 ambulances were required to transport the most badly affected. Fire fighters believe “psychosomatic behaviour” was behind the number of people who fell ill to the perfume. Hmm, or just a really good excuse to get off work! People, are you sure it wasn’t just pepper spray? No word on the name of the perfume but the French are confident it ain’t one of theirs!
Psst : Did I happen to mention they are planning to build an infectious disease facility in Kansas?
This incident reminded me of a viral email…. Shopping in Israel
A baby has been found alive after being cut out of mother’s stomach by what appears to be a murder and an unborn baby-napping. No, no, no, people, cutting babies out of women’s stomaches is wrong (oh unless it’s a caesarean, then you’re fine). But people, that is way too sick for words. Here’s something to consider…maybe next time wait until the baby is born and then steal it? That way when you eventually get caught you can plead insanity and maybe get let off with a lesser charge? Darlene Haynes was 8 months pregnant when her friend (say what?) Julie A. Corey, allegedly decided to kill her and cut out the baby to keep for her very own (ah, how maternal). Hmm, because that’s what nurturing moms do! The alarm was raised after the landlord discovered the decomposing body of Darlene in a closet, minus her unborn, after complaints of a bad odor. Ms Corey remains in custody. Oh but on a brighter noter, the baby appears to be fine, an orphan, but fine.
Employees at JPMorgan Chase in Columbus, Ohio, ran for their lives after someone found a boxlike device in one of their conference rooms. The box had lights, wires and a timer. The building was evacuated for three hours, two of which was spent by the bomb squad laughing their asses off. The device in question was a timer used for people delivering presentations. The light on the box is used to warn the speaker that their time is up. Anywho, it wasn’t a complete waste of time the paramedics came in handy, treating a few of staff for heat stroke.
Psst Guess who’s the butt of office jokes now…boom!
Oh dear god say it ain’t so. A rare pink katydid, that the handlers at the Ohio Department of Wildlife had been grooming to put on show at the Ohio State Fair, has been murdered. And not in a good way. Seems poor little pinky had been attacked by a parasitic wasp who then injected her with its eggs. The eggs hatched and the offsprings ate their way out, leaving the Katydid with no internal organs. Damn parasites! So far no rare pink insect replacement has been found.