If Twitter was around in the those days ......
Well it’s slow news day weekend once more, so I thought I would educate you on some of the the things the Catholic Church doesn’t want you to know about it’s past Popes. Bless. Forgive me father….
Pope John XII (955-63) aka “John The Bad” was bisexual and turned the Lateran Palace into a brothel.He was also into molesting female pilgrims in the basilica of St Peter (if those walls could talk!). Oh boy a tribunal eventually found him guilty of incest, adultery and murder and was excommunicated.He was later hammered to death by an irate husband who found the ex-pope in bed with his wife.
Pope Sergius III (904-11) enjoyed sex with underage girls.
Pope Joan was the only female pope if you are to believe the legend.Evidently her ruse was up when she gave birth during a Papal procession! It is said she is one of the reasons why there is a hole in the Vatican’s Chair of St Peter. According to custom when a new pope is elected a junior goes under the “groping chair” to make sure the pope had testicles (nice job if you can get it!). The other reason for the hole was to make sure the pope wasn’t castrated!
Pope John XXI (1267-7) was believed by some to be the anti-Christ. Hmm, Pope John from Portugal was the only doctor/ quack to be elected pope.Before proceeding to the head of the church three popes died in quick succession under his care, Gregory X, Innocent V and Adrain V. Seems lettuce leaves for toothaches and pig dung to stop nose bleeds weren’t medical sound cures. He died in an unfortunately accident in which the palace roof caved in, crushing him.
Pope Benedivt IX ( 1032-44, 1045 and 1047-48) Hmm, this three term pope was a nasty piece of work, dabbling in bestiality, witchcraft, Satanism and loved nothing better than throwing wild bisexual parties. He became pope at 12 but eventually sold his papacy to his godfather Gregory VI after marrying his cousin.
Pope Anacletus (1130-8) had a prostitute for a mistress, slept with his sister and had a bad habit of raping nuns.
Clement VI (1342-52) was so sinful, when he died 50 priests said mass for the repose of his soul for 9 consecutive days but after all was said and done no one believed it was enough to stop him going directly to hell!
Pope Leo X (1313-21) was a promiscuous homosexual he suffered from shocking ulcerations of the anus and was often carried around on a stretcher! Bummer.
Psst This is only a little sample of what went on behind the Papal Palace.
5 Comments
October 3, 2009 at 11:59 am
Sshhh! Don’t tell my patients that pig dung doesn’t work…. I’ve been using it on them for years…..
October 3, 2009 at 12:16 pm
That’s your invitation to the Vatican Press Corps Xmas do down the pan, ma’am!
October 3, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I have already filmed the pope…be it the now dead one. Yes, I got up close and personal with Pope John Paul a few months before he died
. He kept falling asleep mid prayer and his aids would nudge him back to life…he didn’t miss a beat though.
October 3, 2009 at 6:01 pm
What’s a tesicle?
October 3, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I have no idea Bearman but it sounds bad
Thanks my blogger’s ass spell checker .