Mom vs Terrorists

While London police took their own sweet time 20 minutes to arrive at the scene of a horrific machette and knife attack on a soldier outside the Woolwich Barracks today, a badass Cub Scout leader and mother of two confronted the attackers. Yep, this modern day hero jumped from a bus to try and shield the soldier and persuade the knife weilding attackers to put down their weapons. Mrs Loyau-Kennett, 48, from Cornwall said to the first terrorist “right now it is only you versus many people, you are going to lose, what would you like to do?” and he said “I would like to stay and fight.” She then went over to the second guy and said ‘well, what about you?’ Meanwhile the crowd that gathered watched in stunned silence , many capturing everything on their cellphone while  tick tock, tick tock, everyone waited for police to arrive.

Forget Paranormal Activity

A man in Tassie set up a video camera in his house in an attempt to capture  paranormal activity but instead caught abnormal activity. Yep, he captured footage of his partner having sex with his teenage son. Holy ghost Batman, that’s going to make Christmas dinner awkward.

Another Fine Mess For Venezuela

The good folks in Venezuela are running out of toilet paper. Seems toilet paper manufacturers are finding it hard to break even, thanks to the price capping introduced by the late Hugo Chavez and so they simply aren’t bothering to make any. Many are crying for a “revolution” so they can wipe their butts.

Can You Smell Something?

Um, you might want to bring along some disinfectant the next time you plonk yourself down at a Starbucks in Denver. A couple who couldn’t find a changing table in the restroom, changed their one year old’s dirty diaper at their table. Oh lord, hold the double mocha. When a staff member told them to make sure the seat was wiped when they were done in a “demeaning” tone, the hubby poured coffee on the floor in response. Yes, police were called, no, no one was arrested. Hmm, I suppose they should be grateful the kid was wearing a diaper. If it was a New York Starbucks, well …..

Humiliation Is Complete

An Irishman in Cork decided to see if he could fit into a toddlers high chair at a McDonalds. The answer was pretty much NO, after it took three cops to extract him from it.

 

Those People of Walmart

I was thumbing through the People of Walmart this morning and I couldn’t decide which image horrified me more. Hmm, so I thought, I know,  I’ll  let the Loons decide. Bon appetite!!

Contestant number 1

Contestant number 2

or

Contestant number 3 – good lord is that? Oh never mind

 

 

 

Lord Almighty

A woman in North Carolina has been charged with assault using a deadly Bible . The woman allegedly used the Good Book to thump another woman, leaving her covered in cuts and bruises. No word on what the fight was about but I’m guessing it wasn’t Luke 6:29.

Mayan Pyramid Bulldozed

Oh no, one of Belize’s largest Mayan pyramids has been bulldozed so the rocks could be used for road fill . Awkward. The 2,300 year old structure was on private land, but Belizean law states that any pre-Hispanic ruins are under government protection. Criminal charges are expected to  be laid against the construction company. Hmm, so anyone know how to piece together a really friggin old Mayan pyramid?

Don’t You Know Any Other Songs?

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing because some Whitney Houston fan refused to stop singing I Will Always Love You during the flight. The plane, which was heading from Los Angeles to New York, had to be diverted to Kansas City so they could boot the out of tune singer off.

 

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Sneeze

Cover your la mouths people, there is a deadly outbreak of a  SARS-like virus in France and it’s contagious as all hell. The nasty virus has killed over 18 people so far (mostly in Saudi Arabia) but is expected to spread like wildfire. The latest victim contracted nCoV-EMC after sharing a hospital ward with man who contracted it after visiting Dubai.