Top Santa Requests

Oh dear, how sad. A survey conducted this year at two British stores revealed the most common  requests made by children at Christmas  included  a new baby sibling or a father.

Not Tonight Dear I Fear A Fart Brewing

OK honey, I’m ready!!!!

Holy sex farts Batman. A recent survey in Sweden has revealed 1 in 3 women have at some stage refused to have sex because they feared a fart was a brewing. Hmm, men on the other hand weren’t so concerned with only 1 in 6 refusing due to gas.

Want sauce with that?

So How Long Do You Watch Porn A Day?

The average time spent watching porn on the internet is 8 minutes and 35 seconds

Yes, it’s a new study loons. So guess how long the average person sits at their computer and watches porn per day? 8 minutes and 35 seconds to be precise.  Yep, that would be enough!

Emergency Undies

Oh crap, I got my Bonds comfy fit on!!!

OK ladies, hands up who carries a spare pair of sexy knickers in their purse just in case a date goes better than expected? Well, it’s supposedly 43% of you! Don’t look at me, blame Bridget Jones she brought the horror and embarrassment of  granny knickers to light!

Promise You Won’t Tell?

They aren't real!!!!

How long do you think a woman can keep a secret? If you said 32 minutes, take a bow. Yep, a recent study has found a female can only hold her tongue for a little over half an hour. Even more disturbing 13% deliberately offload the gossip in order for it to spread. Bitchy!!!

Want sauce with that?

I Demand a Recount

Apparently, and I use the term loosely, women are worse at parking than men. I know, it must me wrong. It seems a third of all the women who failed their driving test last year did so because they sucked at parallel parking. One of the main excuses was that their breasts made it more difficut to turn around while parking. Fair call!

Dumb and Dumber

Not that I think any other country would fair any better but a UK survey has revealed how much people are ignorant of agricultural facts. For starters 26% of youngins thought bacon came from sheep, 29% thought oats grew on trees and 17% of adults and kiddies thought eggs were an ingredient of bread. The survey was conducted for the Home Grown Cereals Authority and the National Farmers’ Union. Hmm, seems they have a little bit of PR work ahead of them. Meanwhile over in OZ a list of bizarre Oz tourism questions revealed pretty much the same type of ignorance….”Can I catch a train from Fiji to New Zealand?”, “Can you get Australian money out of ATMs overseas?” and my favorite, an Aussie asked “What was the duty free allowance in Tasmania?”

Dah!

Stop the presses people, we have got the results of the latest study and they are going to quite frankly horrify you. 80% of women who buy new clothes…wait for it…know they are never ever going to wear them. Holy waste of hubby’s income Batman. The UK survey was commissioned by Mycelebrityfashion.co.uk. and included 1623 women aged between 18-30 . Hmm,  the study also found that  91% still had clothes hanging in their closets with the tags still on and that they only wore about 10% of the clothes in their wardrobes. Sheez and it gets worst, 84% said they keep clothes that are way too small for them despite the fact they will never ever fit back into them unless they take Jenny Craig really, really seriously.

Psst Still no cure for cancer.

Horrifying Undies Survey Results

Oh dear god, say it ain’t so. According to a study commissioned by Bonds, more than half of Aussie men have admitted wearing the same pair of undies up to 3 days in a row. Now that’s gross (you should never admit things like that). Of that group, some admitted to wearing them for up to a week or more before changing them. Oh how pathetic (mum on hols?). 7% of men surveyed said they had worn woman’s underwear.Oh and lets skip to “age of undies”, the average life expectancy of an Aussie man’s undies is 2 and a half years, though a large percentage said they still wore undies up to 10 years old. Please don’t let them survey woman!!!!!

Psst Well guess what will be hanging in Aussie men’s Chrissy stockings this year? Geez, I hope the stockings are clean?

2nd Psst Go and check Bearman’s piss pulling on this survey Aussie Undies.

Care Factor Zero

OK, and now for a completely pointless survey, unless you are flogging hair accessories and styling tools. Researchers have discovered that blondes take longer for brunettes to get ready. Yes, blondes take on average 72 minutes on their beauty routine, while the brunettes spend only 66 minutes. Oh and if that doesn’t piss off the brown haired women , the survey revealed blondes have a better social life too. So here’s what we now know about blondes…

They spend 16 minutes showering, 7 minutes on their teeth , 14 minutes on their hair, 11 minutes make-up, 11 minute selecting the “right” outfit, and 12 minutes to preen (waxing, shaving, plucking and tanning).

Here’s what we know about brunettes…whoops, no one seems to care!