Attention hamster owners , no, the hamster that resurrected itself on Easter was not dead but hibernating. When a couple, who were looking after Tink, found her lifeless at the bottom of the cage they made her a little paper casket and buried her in the backyard. The next day a neighbor found Tink hiding in a recycling box freezing her friggin ass off. Nothing like being buried alive to wake you from a dormant state.
Category Archives: Friggin Wildlife
A Buffalo man, who has a big old fear of frogs, has won a $1.6 million payout after a developer drained so much water onto his property (approved by the town council) it turned into a friggin wetland and a haven for the slimy creatures. The man, who has had a fear of frogs since he was a snowflake, became a prisoner on his own property after the amphibians began partying on his porch.
Psst Hmm, OK, so if I have a fear of clowns can I sue the town council too?
Yeah, I know what you were thinking but no, it’s the feathered variety….
What could possibly go wrong at an Easter egg hunt in Minneapolis? Hmm, how about a mob of candy lovin squirrels? Seems the furry little rodents decided to
out run join the 100 snowflakes in looking for the eggs, sniffing out all the candy filled ones and ignoring the ones with toys . Hmm, sounds more like wombies dressed in squirrel’s clothing to me.
No need to panic just quite yet, but a live bomb was found inside a squid caught off the coast of China. The 3lb explosive narrowly missed kabooming at a fish market when the squid was cut open. Local police suspect the rusty bomb had fallen into the ocean from a fighter jet. Hmm, sounds suspiciously like a Kim Jong Un suicide squid squad to me.
OK, here’s the thing lady. When you see a nasty old snake slithering around your yard, don’t be pouring no gasoline on it and setting it alight as it may just end up burning your house friggin down. Snakes are like that. No word on what type of snake became a moving flame but it ignited a brush pile which created a bigger fire which then resulted in her and her neighbor’s house catching fire.
Look away animal lovers this is a little disturbing. When a woman in Bangkok discovered the carcass of a dead kitten in a sausage that she had bought, instead of being horrified she ….no, loons she didn’t eat it ….she built a shrine to it. Yep, a lovely little “sausage kitty shrine”. As you can expect word soon spread through the neighborhood that sausage kitty was bringing good luck to those who prayed. So all’s well that ends well.
A woman in China was caught attempting to smuggle tadpoles onto a plane by …wait for it… hiding them in her mouth. Airport security at one of the checkpoints had asked her to drink or discard a bottle of liquid she was carrying. They became suspicious when she poured the liquid into her mouth but refused to swallow it. She told officials they were given to her as a present. OMG, I don’t know what’s worse, taddies swimming around your chops or someone giving them to you as a gift?