Oklahoma Teachers Are Tornado Heroes

I would just like to give a shout out to all the teachers of the two Oklahoma Elementary Schools who used themselves as human shields to protect the children. Heroes. The photo below shows a collection of images of teachers comforting their students in the aftermath.

 

Twister Season

Community Service Annoucement –  It is deadly twister season in the US once again, so PLEASE stay safe Midwest Loons. Thoughts and prayers.

Lubricant Disfigures Penis

No honey, it isn’t suppose to be that big

Oh dear, a Philadelphia man is suing The Kama Sutra Co. and Kamsut Inc. for allegedly making his penis burn and swell after he applied their lubricating and desensitizing gel, resulting in permanent disfigurement and loss of sensation. Ouch. 

Run He Has A Pressure Cooker

Attention all Saudi students living in the US, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT be seen walking around the neighborhood with a pressure cooker or you may find your house surrounded by armed FBI agents. Any one for kabsah? Seems the student had just made a big pot of rice and was taking it to a friend’s house. As you were agents.

Gun Control Humor …. or Maybe Not !!!

Kiss Cam Fail

The moral of this story is never, ever ignore your girl during kiss cam at a Fresno Grizzlies game ….. just saying.

Psst This one should work they took the friggin copyrighted music off.

Sean Hannity’s Hair part

What’s up with Sean Hannity’s hair part? Everyday it is positioned differently on his head and I swear it is getting deeper and wider.  Is this the new “Republican Hair” ….just saying.

How Are We To Get On Pinterest Now

Attention good people of Syria, don’t bother ringing your internet provider because the whole country has lost friggin internet connection. In other words you might want to seek shelter as the last time it happened all hell broke loose with military kabooming and stuff…. just saying.

Lay Announces A Winner

I wanted chili chocolate bacon

OK, US Loons, I known you have been desperately waiting  the announcement of the winning Lay’s flavored chips so here goes…. and no, it wasn’t the maple-syrup tasting Chicken & Waffles or the Sriracha (hot Thai sauce)… the winner is the Cheesy Garlic Bread chips. That’s an artery hardener right there. The winner who came up with the flavor wins $1 million or 1% of sales (which ever is higher).

Boston Naked Guy Still a Mystery

Some of you who were glued to the TV during the Boston Marathon bombing drama will remember the naked guy that CNN splashed across the screens claiming to be the captured Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Well, the Boston police, who refluted CNN’s claims, haven’t released the naked dude’s details, raising the collective eyebrows of conspiracy theorists worldwide. Who is the Boston Naked Guy? Why hasn’t he come forward to lay claim to his awesome physique and gain his 15 seconds of fame? What the hell was doing there?Why did they strip him naked? Why did they blurred out the best bits? So many questions so few answers.