Meet The Fokkens

These women are the oldest twin prostitutes in the world. At 69 (excuse the pun) the women are still doing it for themselves. OK, Louise retired two years ago due to arthritis and the fact she could no longer get her leg over…oh never mind. Anywho the Dutch women are now starring in a documentary about their  life.

Happy Ending

An enormous shout out to Ken Thompson, the Aussie man who has been cycling around Europe in search of his missing son Andrew. Authorities have just confirmed they have found him alive and well after his mother, Melinda Stratton, tried to enroll him in a school in Amsterdam. The principal became suspicious over his expired passport and ran a security check and discovered he was on the Interpol. Mr Thompson had spent the last three and a half months cycling through Europe looking for the boy, after his wife, who is mentally ill, fled with him in 2008. Despite efforts by police and Interpol Mr Thompson eventually quit his job, bought a bike and began riding through Europe with a picture of his son printed on the back of his riding shirt in an effort to find him. Sheez, now you can get off that friggin bike!

Timber!!!!!

Remember the chestnut tree Anne Frank wrote about in her diaries? You know, the one she used to watch from the attic window that made her happy while she was cooped up in the house for 25 months hiding from the Nazis. Anywho, it fell down. Yes, a big friggin storm blew into Amsterdam and knocked the mighty thing over. OK, it didn’t take much because the 150 year old tree was pretty much rotted, having suffered from fungus and moths for years. Now there may have to be some “pretty pleases” to have the tree replaced by one of its numerous clones because the chestnut was on  neighbor’s property.

Can All Frustrated Virgins Apply?

Aren't we good enough for ya?

How cool are the British taxpayers? They are footing the bill  for a 21 year old disabled man to fly to Amsterdam so he can have sex with a prostitute. His social worker argued that sex was a  “human right”  and his frustrated virgin client needed to have sex. The money is being provided by the government’s Putting People First scheme. The social worker also added ‘He’s planning to do more than just have his end away , he’s having a holiday,’

Psst Hmm, why not fly a prostitute to him, that way he can do it in the comfort of his own home and not in  window?

The Real South Park

I’m not a big South Park fan but the Dutch…sheez…ever heard of animators? Here’s what happens when they turn a cartoon into real people! If you are easily offended I suggest you don’t watch!

Psst No way this would ever get passed by our censors!

Who Has A Friggin Pill Collection?

OK , why would anyone have a 2,400 ecstasy pill collection for starters ? An Amsterdam man, who spent 20 years collecting Ecstasy pills as a hobby, had a conscience attack and rang police when they were stolen. Evidently the red and white ones are friggin poisonous and lethal. The unnamed man said despite knowing he wont get his collection back if found, he doesn’t want a death on his conscience. The man also claims he isn’t a drug dealer and has never taken the drug, he was just fascinated with the different shapes, colors and logos on the tablets! Hmm, suppose it beats collecting buttons (though they can be potentially as dangerous if swallowed!). Anywho the man’s house was robbed and the ecstasy tablets, which were neatly arranged in coin collecting folders, were taken.

Psst Geez his collection would have been worth a bit!

Smart Cars Don’t Float

Forget cow tipping people, the Dutch are Smart Car Dipping. Yep, as the rest of Europe cringe and hope this wont become a new craze, over a dozen of the little eco-friendly two seater Smart Cars have been dumped in Amsterdam canals. One poor guy had the police knock in the middle of the night to tell him his car was floating down a waterway outside his apartment. His room mate’s Smart Car got a dunking the week before. Come on, lets face it the cars are sinking sitting ducks for these types of childish pranks. No really, it doesn’t take very many people to lift it and chuck.

Psst I hear Mercedes are seriously considering making the next model float.

Ooh and lookie Smart Car even have a banned commercial, bonus!

If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It!

Last week we brought you the World’s Most Unhygienic Tourist Attraction …this week…The World’s Worst Hotel.And the winner is the Hans Brinker Hotel, Amsterdam. Thanks to the smart people at KesselsKramer for their horrendous advertising campaign which helped the hotel to not only achieve the lowest accolades humanly possible but also managed to keep it nearly completely booked all year round ! Ah, why let me ramble on when you can see all it’s “accidentally ec0″ features for yourself….

Psst If you are tempted to book, please check out the Hans Brinker website first…it’s not too late to change your mind!