Harry Styles Gets A Shoe To The Balls

Taylor Swift seen exiting the building real fast….

Junkyard Gator

Sheez, so redneck

Trappers in South Carolina were surprised when they cut open a 13ft alligator and found a soccer ball, 2 baseballs, a tennis ball, 53 fishing lures, heaps of lead sinkers, a beer can, two turtles and a smaller gator in his stomach. Seriously, they need to clean that swamp.

Genitals Conduct Lightning

I can’t feel my balls!

The “unluckiest man” award this week goes to the Spanish dude who got struck in the scrotum by lightning. I kid you not, he was walking down the street in Madrid minding his own beeswax when kaboom, the bolt went through his pants, zapping his balls before traveling down his legs and through to the footpath. Hmm, evidently his brain wasn’t affected by the lightning, which is surprising,  considering most men think with their….ah never mind. The guys OK, though he may be walking bow legged for awhile.

Psst This story was brought to you by Fairy Face and the letters WTF

Get A Grip!

A woman in Seattle has been charged with third-degree domestic violence after she allegedly squeezed her boyfriend’s balls so hard during a fight that he had to have surgery. Ouch! Hmm, want look good on your resume Jennifer Kolone.

Want sauce with that?

Nice Balls Beckham

This is so lame, of course the video is fake. Michael Jackson’s hair catching fire, now that was real!!!!

Quite a Mouthful

OK, here’s the thing people, technically, if a woman bites off her boyfriends balls , are they still a couple? Maria Georgina Topp from Newcastle in England is accused of biting off Martin Douglas’ testicles  for which he needed surgery to reattach them. The two had allegedly been drinking when at around 4am  things got a little heated and testes.

Want sauce with that?

My, What Big Balls You Have

It's tiring carrying my package around!

Ok loons, what creature has the biggest testicles (relative to body weight) in the world? No, no, no, it’s not Madeleine Albright for goodness sakes! If you guessed the tuberous bushcricket take a bow, if you guessed the fruit fly you need to stop reading your friggin encyclopedia and get with the program. Evidently the tuberous bushcricket’s balls take up the whole of their abdomen, 14% of their body mass.Yeah, yeah, yeah but having the biggest balls doesn’t mean jack, these bushcrickets have smaller ejaculations than other species with smaller testicles. My god, who is doing these tests …and HOW?  You can read more about the big balled cricket here.

The Man’s Got Balls

Steven Black was arrested in Florida this week with $1,500 tied to his scrotum. Black and 4 other fools were part of a credit card and check fraud ring.Police say they found $1,540.00 strapped to his balls with a shoelace but were not revealing in what denominations. OK people, I know what you are all thinking, the elephant in the room, how big were his friggin balls?

So Honey, I’m Guessing No Dinner?

OK, here’s the thing Dale Morris, whacking your hubby with a crowbar in the balls will get you an aggravated assault, simple assault and reckless endangerment charge for sure. Evidently the incident was sparked by a note left by her husband. When he arrived home he was welcomed with a crowbar to the crotch and head. Sheez, I wonder what the note said?

Nut Cracker Sweet

You know I hate to say it, but these dumbasses deserve what they get….a high octave voice for life!