Boo Hoo!

When you are the most haunted village in the country it isn’t surprising the locals loath Halloween! Pluckley residents, who boast over 12 spooks, including a highwayman, ghost in a pub, a phantom monk and a hanging school master, are so tired of people invading their town and wreaking havoc during Halloween they are banning [...]

Pity The Hubby

Jenny Chapman take a bow, she has just been named the loudest snorer in Britain with a 111.6 decibel register. Mrs Chapman’s snoring is actually louder than a washing machine for goodness sakes. The 60 year old from Deeping in St James says she now sympathizes with hubby who continually complains about the racket. Experts [...]

That Requires Special Sauce!

When you are on a hunger strike outside the Houses of Parliament in Britain, does eating Big Mac’s count? Evidently not, because they have a £7m overtime bill from the police to prove it. Parameswaran Subramaniyan sat in a tent in one of the longest running demonstrations in Britain but all the time he was [...]

What’s Up With Chicken?

A recent study revealed two thirds of every fresh chicken sold in Britain contains a food bug. Not only that, 65% of chicken samples tested showed signs of Campylobacter, the friggin diarrhea, cramping, abdominal pain  causing bug (brilliant). Hmm, the poor old deadly Salmonella was found in only  6%. But chicken lovers, you should still [...]

No One Should Own Up To This

A survey in Britain has found that 2 million of you still own a pair of jeans you bought over 40 years ago. WTF, people would admit to that? Of those 2 million,  30% admitted they kept them in the hope one day they would lose enough weight to fit back into them!! Whew, sure [...]

All Hail BrewDog

Simply brilliant, the brewers who were given grief over their “Britain’s strongest beer” have struck back with a  ale called “Nanny State”. And  just like it’s namesake,  Nanny State beer is as weak as piss, with a grand total of 1.1% alcohol content.Trouble started for the brewers early this year when they created a 18.2% [...]

How To Avoid Death By Cow!

People, can you stop provoking the cows. This serious warning comes from the National Farmers Union following the deaths of 4 people in Britain in the last two months due to aggressive cows protecting their calves (no, not Octomom, sheez!).Cows, just like bulls, will get hell pissed and charge if they so much as think [...]

Stop Kowtowing

You know I’ve heard all this blah, blah,blah about killer chipmunks and squirrels invading the Nanny State (that is Great Britain) but people, they are little furry rodents.What you need is kick ass birds to show them who’s boss. Kowtowing to the little buggers isn’t going to get you anywhere…
Psst And for goodness sakes, please [...]

Hide Your Nuts!

Run people run, the friggin Siberian Chipmunks are coming! Britain is about to have a rodent invasion like no other. No people, were not talking Alvin, Theodore or Simon. We are talking friggin vicious nut hoarding vermin not even the French can handle. Oh and these seemingly cute creatures are really, really nasty, carrying all [...]

What Happened To Our Civilized Society?

OK, I am not liking these so called “honor” attacks one little bit.A Muslim woman is in hiding (and who would blame her) after a male friend had acid poured down his throat in a suspected “honor attack”  in Britain. The Danish man, of Asian descent, was jumped by a gang of men and stabbed [...]