Kristen Stewart Explains Why She Cheated

The trampire has a logical explanation….

What’s An Olympics Without Accusations of Doping

Here’s the thing Chinese female swimmer, if you smash your personal best by more than 5 seconds and swim faster that the men’s number 1 to claim a gold medal, expect all eyebrows to be raised. 16 year old Ye Shiwen is under attack after what many coaches say is an “unbelievable” 400m individual medley world record. There has now been a call for an investigation into the Chinese, not just for doping but for the use of genetic manipulation. Seriously, is it that important to win a silly medal and destroy your country’s reputation?

Marriage Doomed From The Start

You know what’s awkward? When you have just got married and are celebrating at the wedding reception when you spot a cute waitress and sneak off to the kitchen to have sex and your father-in-law walks in during the middle of it. Worse still, the irate in-law then stops the music and sends everyone home before breaking the news to his daughter. She in turn marches straight to the wedding registry office to demand a divorce, but is refused. That’s Austrian law for ya.

Psst When they finally divorced, the naughty groom married the waitress.

Monopoly Rage Can Be Deadly

Go directly to jail

The one board game I really, really, really hate is Monopoly, so when I heard that a woman had allegedly stabbed her boyfriend because she caught him cheating I had a little empathy for her. OK, not because she went friggin all stabby but because I understand the rage that comes with landing on friggin Mayfair (or in the American version, Boardwalk) and discovering it has 2 friggin hotels on it that aren’t yours. Anywho, I digress, Laura Chavez was arrested for suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

And Who Said It Wouldn’t Last?

Demi and Ashton heading for splitsville. Hmm, seems he has a new sitcom, Two and a Half Women!!!!

Forget About The Cameras Matt Prior ?

Holy cricket furor Batman. English wicketkeeper Matt Prior seems to have suffered short term memory loss when he tapped off the bails and then claimed batsman Mitchell Johnson had been bowled during a one dayer last night. The replay kinda shows him getting caught in the act. Awkard.

Psst At least they didn’t under arm it!

2nd psst Cricket is a sport.

Welcome To The Online Cheating Factories

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Seems some Aussie students have been outsourcing their homework to people in India and Pakistan  for as little as $2.  There are numerous websites now offering to do your homework for a fixed price tariff or via an auction system, you just post the assignment and graduates from India or Pakistan will tender for it.  Worse still, some of the “online cheating factories” are now even offering  to write customized PhD standard work for University students to make it harder for lecturers or plagiarism software to spot (hmm, but you pay a little more).

Cheating Chilean Miner Is A Free Man (kind of)

OMG, Yonni Barrios, the cheating Chilean bastard miner was greeting by his wife girlfriend as he was unlatched from the rescue capsule.Wifey-poo was a no show because said she didn’t want to become centre of the media circus when his sorry ass was lifted out of the mine. He’ll be in for it when he gets home!

Psst I’m guessing he will never be a free man!

While The Cat’s Away

No way I'm friggin coming out now!

Awkward. Sometimes being trapped in a Chilean mine is a better option than facing your wife and mistress. Seems one of the trapped Chilean miners, Yonni Barrioshas, has a little issue unraveling about 700m above him. His wife Marta Salinas, and his lover, Susana Valenzuela, have bumped into each other during a vigil for him outside the mine. Marta says her hubby loves her but the mistress has told her he was planning to leave her. Lucky for Yonni Barrios he’s got 4 months saving grace before having to face them both. Good luck with that!

Psst On a lighter note authorities have banned the miners from having cigs and booze. Must be fun down there now!

Blindsided or Friggin Blind?

Hands up who believes Elin Nordegren had no idea Tiger was cheating? Sheez, she should read the gossip mags more often!!!

Psst I am guessing even Tiger’s mom knew. Hello, she was in the same Melbourne hotel as Tiger when he got blindsided with Rachel Uchitel