Woman Fails Breast Test

Those sneaky little drug couriers are getting smarter and smarter concealing drugs but the Barcelona airport authorities are on to them. The latest bust found a woman with 2lb of cocaine stuffed in her breast implants. A hospital check revealed the implants contained drugs and were leaking. What a boob.

Where Does A Woman Pee In The Woods?

Here’s a tip ladies , if you are drunk and lost in the woods, don’t be ringing 911 and asking them where you can take a pee, especially if the cops follow up on the call and find you at home, drunk as a skunk, drinking a beer. That’s an arrest right there. Oh and about that vial of meth residue they found on you, that’s another charge . Sheez, should have just peed anywhere!!!!

Friggin Squatters

Officer I knew nothing about the drugs...nothing!!

You know what I hate? When you find squatters with drugs, a handgun, 10 grenades, and a pig inside your house and you have to call the bomb squad. I really figgin hate that!

Want sauce with that?

Here Honey, Can You Hold This?

Antwine Bulter better be getting his 13 year old daughter a friggin awesome Christmas present this year after he left her holding 50 bags of crack and bags of marijuana when he spied police at his front door. He took off out the back door as he yelled to his daughter to gather up all the drugs and get rid of them. When police entered with a search warrant she was standing there holding the entire stash. As for daddy dearest, he hasn’t been seen since!

Home Comforts in Jail

What would you expect to find in a Acapulco jail during a surprise inspection? Close, but no! The surprise inspection revealed 19 prostitutes, 100 plasma TVs, 100 Cockerels for fighting and a couple of sacks of marijuana.Ta-da! Seems inmates run their own show down in Mexico.

What Were You Thinking?

Ok, here’s the thing parents of 14 year old arrested in Bali, do not and I repeat DO NOT make frigging media deals before your son is free. For crying out loud, how many times must you be told, Indonesia doesn’t like this sort of behavior . Don’t believe me? well just ask Schapelle Corby! Urgh, the parents Have evidently sold the story for $200,000 following a bidding war between rival TV networks.

Oh So That Is Why Ice Cream Is Popular At Staten Island

Sheez, that rum and raisin is a killer!

Oh boy, beware the green and white Lickety Split truck,  it sells Good Humor ice cream and all the Oxycodone you need. The son of an NYPD detective, Louis Scala, Jr has been caught allegedly selling drugs from his ice cream van. It is estimated at least 43,000 of the highly addictive pills have made it onto the streets of Staten Island over the past year via the van. Scala and his mate would spend the day selling ice creams and then pull up outside his house (which he shared with his dad) and continue to sell cones to the kids and pills to the adults until 9 o clock at night!

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Do Drugs

And I thought I was bad!

OMG, please tell me the vagina isn’t the new “handbag”!!! A woman who was suspected of robbing the Dunmore Inn was found to have 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty heroin bags, prescription pills and $51.22 hidden in her vagina. Police became sus when she began fidgeting in the back seat of the police car. They later requested a doctor to search Karin Mackaliunas’s privates and viola, cash and drugs. Hmm, that’s quite a big storage compartment.

Want sauce with that?

Winning Fail

Warner Brothers have just said adios to Carlos Irwin Estevez (that’s Mexican for dumbass). Yep, Charlie Sheen has had his crazy ass fired from Two and a Half Men, effective immediately. Hmm, how’s that “winning” working for ya?

Psst Hey Charlie, I hear there is a bunk waiting for you at Gaddafi’s pad!

Now If 33 Chilean Women Were Trapped….

Hey, who nicked my Moet?

What happens in a Chilean mine doesn’t necessarily stay in a Chilean mine. Seems now the dust has settled and all the 33 trapped miners have had time to collect their thoughts, stories are emerging of drugs, sex and rock n roll down in that hole. A new book is claiming that while authorities were scratching their heads wondering how the hell they were going to all the men out from the 800m underground pit, friends and family were smuggling drugs down to them in letters. Unfortunately the men’s requests for a few blow up dolls was denied because experts believed it would cause jealously amongst them, so instead they got lousy pin ups.

Psst As long as they could squeeze  bottles of champers, a toothbrush, a pillow and cable TV down into that hole, I’d be set.

Want sauce with that?