Joy Ride Gets Ugly

Finally got to use this Deb!

Oh come on people, can’t a drunk man have a little fun with his kids? An Indiana man has been charged with neglect after he used a tow strap to tie four  kids to the hood of his car before driving them a few blocks down the road. Hello, neglect would be NOT tying them, sheez!!!! The kids aged 4, 5, 6 and 7 were unharmed. While he defended his actions by saying they enjoyed it, police were none too happy, especially after he blew a .17, which is twice Indiana’s blood alcohol limit.The mother of three of the kids was also in the car and drunk as a skunk.

Psst Big shout out to Bill for finding this great yarn.

Want sauce with that?

Where Does A Woman Pee In The Woods?

Here’s a tip ladies , if you are drunk and lost in the woods, don’t be ringing 911 and asking them where you can take a pee, especially if the cops follow up on the call and find you at home, drunk as a skunk, drinking a beer. That’s an arrest right there. Oh and about that vial of meth residue they found on you, that’s another charge . Sheez, should have just peed anywhere!!!!

Don’t Try This Drunk

If he only took a few more steps …..

Train Proof

When a freight train driver in Blenheim called police believing he had run over someone on the tracks, everyone expected to be looking for a mangled body but instead they found a drunk man still asleep between the tracks. In fact he had slept through the whole thing, despite having cuts on his forehead from the train.

Dumbest Thing You Will Hear All Day

An Indianapolis man who was pulled over for erratic driving  told officers he didn’t do anything wrong by drinking and driving because he didn’t hit anyone!

Psst He also threw urine over a cop when he refused a breathalyzer test and was taken to a local hospital. Double dumb.

Craps!

OK, here’s the thing drunk Oregon man, going into an Nebraska police station and asking for blackjack chips is one thing but coming back again, that’s a night in the cell!!! The 21 year old, who registered three times over the state’s legal limit, was so blottoed he kept thinking the station was a casino. In the end they threw him into a cell to sober him up but he wasn’t charged. Guess the chips were down!

Drunk Leading The Drunk

Anyone seen my man?

Drunk woman drives to police station to pick up her drunk boyfriend. That’s a fail right there! The trick in these situations is, never ever  open your mouth. On a bright note seems the couple were made for each other!

 

This Is Moose To Ground Control

What could be more embarrassing for a moose than getting stuck in a tree?  Probably nothing! The poor thing was just minding its own beewax, getting drunk on fermented apples, when suddenly she found herself good and wedged in the fork of the tree. Bummer! Enter a Swedish rescue crane , which managed to winch her to solid ground. Hmm, that will be one mighty hangover she’ll be nursing.

 

Anchors Away

Note to self, when getting drunk on a  ship do not attempt to drop the ship’s anchor while cruising  because that’s a whole lotta trouble  right there! Rick Ehlert was caught on surveillance cameras using gloves and a wrench to drop the MS Ryndam’s 18 ton anchor in International waters off Mexico. OK, it took him 12 minutes and he didn’t quite get it to touch the sea floor but it was enough to see him face  up to 20 years in jail.

Sounded Like A Good Idea At The Time

No loons, this ain't him!

How far would you go to throw police dogs off your scent after fleeing a crime scene? Hmm, well Gordon Flavia, covered himself in liquid human waste before hiding in a portable toilet, beat that! Mr Flavia had earlier reversed his jeep at high speed into a neighbor’s condominium, knocking down a large support beam. He panicked and fled the scene only to stumble across a bucket of human excrement outside a portable toilet. Believing police dogs were after him he did what any paranoid person would do , he splashed the bucket of shit all over himself and hid inside the loo. Longview police said “It looks like alcohol was involved,” …Hmm, YA THINK!!!!