From Russia With Love

What do you do when you meet the man of your dreams and fall instantly in love? Well, if you are Lesya Toumaniantz from Russia, you have his name “Ruslan” tattooed across your face in five-inch high gothic script, that’s what. Oh for crying out loud, they had met for less than 24 hours when she decided to have a symbol of eternal devotion inked on her face. The man of her dreams happens to be the same guy who tattooed a  galaxy of stars across a young Belgian girl’s face a few years back. Sheez, I sure hope the romance lasts because that’s gonna be friggin intimidating for the next guy she meets. Just saying.

 

You Had What Tattooed On Your Face?

Yes you can!!!

An Indiana man is feeling “totally disappointed.” after he had the Mitt Romney campaign logo tattooed on his face. Oh, well it will just be a permanent reminder of the loser.

Zombie Alert

Just when you thought the Zombie apocalypse was over, last week a Chinese man named Dong  attacked a woman and started eating her face. Dong, who was not on the infamous “Bath Salts”, was drunk when he confronted and then started gnawing on the poor women.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry

Welcome to Greek TV. Ilias Kasidiaris, a spokesman for Greece’s extremist far-right Golden Dawn party, took offense at a comment made by Communist Party member Liana Kanelli during a political show so punched her in the face three times live on air.

Party’s Over Kids!!!!

Want to know  how to ruin a kid’s party? Hmm, invite a professional fire breather who accidentally sets her face on fire. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but, they should have hired a friggin clown!!!!

Dog Bites Reporter’s Face

Moral of this story is don’t stick your face up to a dog who has just been rescued. Denver anchor Kyle Dyer had her face bitten on live TV after she leaned in to kiss the pooch. Ouch!

or for the morbidly inclined…

Snake on a Face

If you have ever thought of getting a python as a pet, take heed. A woman in Wisconsin was at a book club meeting when she decided to take  her friend’s python out of its terrarium for a little play. Next thing she knows Annie the 4ft python has latched itself onto her face . The serpent refused, point blank, to let go of her right cheek until its owner appeared. I’m guessing we all know the moral of this story!!!

Flash Fire of the Face

OMG, did you know that your face can catch fire during routine surgery? Seriously , a full on face flash fire. Seems there are between 550 and 650 surgical flash fires a year. The fires are usually caused by tools like lasers giving off a spark and then setting off a chain reaction thanks in part to flammable liquids and oxygen used in  surgery.

Want sauce with that?

Guess what this is?

Give up? Ah, you will never guess. The image is a scan of a man’s scrotum. Yep, you see the face too huh? When the man from Canada began complaining about severe pain in his testicles, doctors ordered a scan and viola, they found a tumor with what looks like a face  “screaming in pain”. The face, the growth and the testicle were all later removed.

Man Faceplants in Library

OK, here’s the thing Philip Broughton of New Zealand, if you go into a public library and press your face up against a random woman’s ass, expect to face 2 years and 3 months in jail. I’m just saying. Evidently the victim was minding her own beeswax, browsing in the parenting section, when  Broughton dropped to his knees and pressed his face up against her bottom making no attempt to move or apologise. Sheez, I hope he was quiet, because, hello,  it was a library. Judge Stephen Erber said the incident was embarrassing and humiliating for the victim, before throwing the book at him.