You Only Knocked Over One Pin

OK, here’s the thing mister, don’t be carrying a revolver in your short’s pocket while bowling. That’s a strike …. in the leg. Seems when he went up for his turn he struck his leg with the bowling ball and kaboom.

Psst Florida

Hey Boo Boo

My bad?

A Florida woman is still wondering how the heck a bear managed to locked itself in her 2003 Toyota Matrix and then proceed to rip it to shreds. The unnamed bear had a yabadabadoo time stripping the seats to the metal, eating the head rests, chewing the steering wheel and scratching the heck out of the headlining before the woman’s father managed to open the door to let it out.

Psst Maybe it got pissed because it couldn’t drive a manual?

Just Passing Through

A woman in Florida was arrested after she was caught on surveilannce video crapping in a man’s backyard before stripping off and taking a bath in his swimming pool . That’s not what you want. She later told police she was jut passing through on her way to Washington DC to yell at President Obama. No word on what she was going to yell.

The Woman is Nuts

Hey, what the …

A woman has been arrested for allegedly running up and down a street and kicking people in the genitals. Sheez, that has gotta hurt.

Psst Florida

Walk Carefully In Florida

A man in Florida has been busted for stealing 166 manhole covers. Dude? Evidently you can make quite a bit of money selling them for scrap but shhhh, you didn’t hear it from me.

Honey, I Think Something Moved Over There

What the hell is wrong with you Florida? A park ranger had to kill a 17ft Burmese python that had taken a fancy to picnickers in the Everglades. This is not what you want!!!!

 

Man Goes Feral Over Undercooked Pizza

Word of warning lady loons, never, ever undercook your man’s  pizza . Some guy tried to drown his wife in a dog bowl after he got pissed about the soft crust. Seems it wasn’t to his liking so he did what any pizza loving dude would do, he rubbed the missus’ face in the dog’s water bowl. When police arrived she was still dripping wet. Hmm, that’s a attempted murder, strangulation and battery charge right there.

Psst Florida

Evil Has A Name

The statue of Abraham Lincoln in Florida has a nice little hole in it now, thanks to a naughty little kitty. Somehow the three week old devil managed to find its way inside the statue, forcing rescuers to drill a friggin hole into the sculpture to rescue him.  LOLcat.

You Telling Me Sushi Not Cooked?

OK, here’s the thing. Never, ever query the food at the upscale Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar in Florida unless, of course, you want the owner to shoot at you. I’m just saying. Some poor customer had the audacity to complain about his meal and well, then it got ugly. The customer first suffered a mouthful from the owner and staff before being told to leave. When he and his friend got into their car , the staff began banging on it, before the owner shot at them…twice. The owner’s nephew defended his uncle’s actions “My uncle, the owner of that restaurant, was just protecting his property and making sure nobody was just coming in, getting free sushi, complaining about it, walking out,” Hmm, looks like they ain’t in Kansas anymore !!!

This Is The Problem With Refund Policies

I think this has been used!!!!!

Oh for crying out loud, when a Florida man returned several enema kits to a store for a refund the staff whacked them back on the shelves after he claimed he hadn’t used them. Yes loons, of course he had lied, they had all been friggin used. Gross.