TV Host Sets Magician’s Head Alight

American magician, Wayne Houchin, is recovering from serious burns after a host on a Dominican Republic TV show deliberately set his head on fire. The host used a liquid called Aqua De Florida on Houchin during an unscripted prank which resulted in a Pepsiesque disaster.

Good Vibrations For The Loon

This is what happened when I went to Mega’s birthday. They put a big bowl on my head and kept banging it. Evidently the vibrations are therapeutic. I suspect not!!!! Happy Birthday Mega.

Psst By the way, I was lured there by the promise of a riot squad!!! Seriously Mega, if your going to put out an “open” party invitation on Facebook, you’ve got to have more than two friends to have any chance of attracting gatecrashers.  Oh and I’d remove your senior cits status too, I’m just saying!

I’m not an animal. I’m a human being.

That’s Using Your Head

You know what I hate? When you try to break into a building via the garage door and you get your head stuck for 8 hours, I really friggin hate that!

Remember The Days of The Old School Yard?

You know what I hate, when you get your head stuck in an I-beam at school. Years of ridicule ensue.Looks like it was a case of hide and seek fail. OK, 1,2,3,4, …10 I’m coming to get you, ready or …Oo oh!!!

Bottoms Up

That’s using your head …

Heads Will Roll

Let this be a warning to you all, never, ever check photos on a mobile phone you found, especially if it belongs to an embalmer at a mortuary. Two young kids found the phone in a ditch and later when their daddy checked the sim card on his computer they discovered a photo of a smiling man holding up the decapitated head of a train victim. And cue nightmares!

Psst There is now a police investigation.

Want sauce with that?

 

Cat Fight

Look away cat lovers this is nasty. During a marital squabble in Buenos Aires, a man picked up their family cat and hurled it at his wife, she ducked and the cat flew out the window, which happened to be on the fourth floor. The cat landed on the head of a former opera singer who was crossing the road. The  woman (85)  is now in hospital with a fractured skull and the cat is dead. Don’t cry for me Arg….ah never mind.

French Folly

How’s your luck? You go to an undergound carpark in France so you can secretly siphon waste oil into a drain and you accidentally drop your wallet, slip and get your head stuck in the sewer! Life’s a bitch huh? Worse still, you have to stay stuck in that position all night until someone finds you all cold and hypothermiated (probably not a word but anywho) with your feet sticking up in the air. By now you are thinking “phew”, right?  Not so fast mister. When police arrive and notice you’ve been doing a bit of siphoning they book you. Don’t you know that is an offence which carries up to two years jail and a $97,000 fine. Hello,  life’s a bitch or is that la bitch?

Toilet Lid Killer’s Appeal Flushed!

You know what’s worse than being convicted of a gang related murder? Being forever labeled the “toilet lid killer”. Seriously, that sucks. Tyler Lee Nolet, who was given a life sentence for the murdering  Kenny Wong by smashing a toilet tank lid over his noggin, was trying to appeal his second degree murder sentence but it was denied. Shit ah!

AIDS joke fail

OK, here’s the thing lady, don’t jokingly tell the man you just slept with that you have AIDS or he might just go and get his 12 gauge shotgun from the closet and shoot you in the head, making you deaf in one ear. I’m just saying. Lloyd Wilkins has no sense of humor.