How friggin slow would you have to be to get bitten by a panda? I mean, hello? Don’t they just sit there on their lazy assed behinds chomping on bamboo for goodness sakes? Hmm, evidently not. Health and safety are friggin freaking after a panda, yes you heard me, a panda, bite and clawed at a zookeepers leg at a California zoo. Bai Yun, the bitch, attacked the keeper after she wandered out of her pad when someone forgot to secure the safety barrier.
Tag Archives: health and safety
We interrupt this broadcast to make an important announcement….breast milk ice cream is OK to
eat lick. Yes, the London Ice cream parlor has been given the thumbs up to go back to selling their $22 a scoop Baby Gaga breast milk ice cream. Seems health and safety are happy with the milk screening. Now all the ice cream parlor has to worry about is Lady Gaga suing their asses off!
Ewh ah, a factory worked has been slowly crushed to death after he jumped into a jelly bean machine without turning it off to investigate a problem. It is believed Martin Pejril, originally from Czechoslovakia, could hardly speak (or understand) English. The machine in Britain’s largest confectionery company was notorious for getting jammed but a series of blunders led to the tragic death (starting with not turning the damn thing off). After Mr Pejril jumped into the machine it re-started after a few seconds however another worker who realized he was inside the machine tried to help but pressed the wrong button. Mr Pejril was crushed between two large heavy rotary arms. Despite there being a large warning sign over the machine Tangerine Confectionery were fined £300,000 for breaching health and safety laws.
You know what’s a bitch? When teachers refuse to help a five year old stuck in a tree for health and safety reasons but dob in the passerby who eventually helps the little snowflake down . The little boy climbed the 20 ft tree and then refusing to budge so the teachers followed the guidelines by leaving him up there while they watched from inside the school. That’s when Kim Barrett spotted him and gave him a hand down. Enter head teacher from Manor school in Melksham.Instead of thanking the good Samaritan she was informed the school had rung the police for trespassing.