You know you suck at robbery when you have to ask a Subway cashier for a pen so you can write a hold up note.The dumbass then sat down in a booth , wrote his demands on a piece of paper and then waited for all the customers to leave. When he eventually handed the cashier the note she pressed the alarm button. You can pretty much guessed what happened from there. Such is the life of a crack addict.
Tag Archives: hold up
OK, here’s the thing, when robbing a fast food restaurant do not, and I repeat, DO NOT do it at your place of work AND especially when having just finished a shift. Make sure your disguise is good enough to fool the staff, who know you and can identify you and will mock you to the media with quotes like this “Apparently he needs to work on that disguise a little” . And finally, don’t be rocking up to work on Monday to say hi to your work mates, especially when they are being interviewed by police. That’s an arresting right there. Stupid is as stupid does.
Attention loons, the bumcrack bandit is at it again. Yep, a woman wearing low slung jeans and wielding a silver gun has robbed a hotel in Queensland. Media have nicknamed her the bumcrack bandit after her butt was exposed when she jumped over the counter and was caught on CCTV.She is believed to be linked to a police shooting. If by some weird chance you can identify her ass I wouldn’t approach her …Ewh!
A thief in Hamelin, Germany held up an amusement arcade with a cup of coffee. The girl attendant said the man wasn’t going to throw the steaming coffee over her but was going to hit her with the cup. She handed over the money and he fled. Hmm, hope it wasn’t McDonald’s drive-thru coffee, they are friggin hot!
Psst So Hamelin is still full of rats?
Oh for goodness sakes lady, if you are going to hold up two Memphis credit unions you are going to have to learn to communicate a whole lot better than that. Some thin, short black or Hispanic woman dressed in dark clothing with a bright red scarf, failed twice in her attempts to rob the banks. The first attempt failed because the teller couldn’t understand a word she said and when pushed to repeat herself she threw her a hold up note and fled. Next stop another credit union. This time the woman decided to keep her mouth shut which only helped draw attention to herself. After being asked several times by a teller if she needed help she fumbled around in her purse, handed over a note and pulled out a gun. Exit teller and exit lady, who tripped as she ran outside, dropping her gun and no doubt grazing her knees before fleeing in her car.Shame, I am guessing that’s the last time they’ll be hearing from her…. dumbass.
It really wasn’t Takashi Owata’s day when he decided to rob the Sunkus convenience store in Fukushima. Hmm, not when a 59 year old female was working there anyways. No one was going to do no robbing on her shift. When Owata demanded money the woman hurled abuse at him, screaming “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Despite Owata wielding a stick at the now angry woman, she continued to verbally abuse him, so much so, he eventually left, pulled out his cell phone, rang the police and confessed to trying to rob the store. He then walked 400m to the police station and handed himself in. Ah, the old “mamma knows best”, guilt trip works every time! Even Dr Phil would whip your butt for not sticking up for yourself…wimp!