Ray Of Hope For Acid Attack Victim

An Indian  woman who was the victim of a horriffic acid attack when she was a teenager has won $70,000 in India’s version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. The show’s host said ‘The nation salutes her as do all of us, but simultaneously hangs its head in shame for this dastardly act.’ In 2003 Sonali was left partially blind and deaf after she rejected a boy’s advances and he and his mates later broke into her house and doused her with acid while she slept. Since the attack she has received no state funding for her 22 operations nor have her attacker’s been properly punished (each only receiving 4 months jail). Her family sold their land and mother’s jewellery to pay for the numerous operations. The winnings will help pay for further plastic surgery.

The Worst Exotic Marigold Hotel

Here’s a novel way to cut care costs for your disabled hubby. Take him to a really, really, poverty stricken area in India and pay some randoms £1,500 a month to take care of him and viola. It will save you the £6,000 a month in care bills you are paying in Switzerland. Trick is not to get caught like the wealthy 65 year old banker. She left her hubby with some Indian “carers” and jetted back to her life of luxury in Zurich but he died 9 months later from neglect and poor hygiene. She still would have gotten away with it had those damn carers not notified the Swiss authorities that he had died, been cremated and chucked in the river. That’s 4 years behind bars right there. Hmm, now she really is a scum dog millionaire.

Want sauce with that?

Julia Gillard Face Plants in India

OK, I know it’s wrong to laugh but Blahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaha. For those not on the island, this is Australia’s Prime Minister face planting in India. Heels are a bitch in soft grass!!!!

Psst If that was me I would play dead. How embarrassing.

Monkey Business

Is that a monkey in your underwear or are you just happy to see me? A man was arrested at an Indian airport after he was caught trying to smuggle a 7-inch-long loris monkey in his undies . The poor endangered species was heading to Dubai . I hate to think what would have kept the poor thing amused during the trip

Holy Indian Misinterpretation Batman

Rajesh Shah, a men’s clothing shop owner in India, has upset the local Jewish population by naming his store “Hitler”. Shah named it after his business partner’s grandfather who was nicknamed Hitler. Shah swears the only thing he knew about the Nazi dictator was he was strict.  Hmm, me thinks he fibs as he has used the Indian swastika for the dot above the i.

A Mobile Home

Random Steals India’s Spotlight

I noticed the random walking proudly next to the befuddled Indian athletes  as they entered the stadium  and thought “Wow, their women’s uniforms are crap.” Hmm, seems the gatecrasher was suppose to be a dancer in the earlier part of the opening but thought she ‘d have better luck being noticed by security breaching. Hmm, nice to know the British security is on the ball.

The Grossest Thing You Will See All Day

Look away sensitive loons, what I am about to tell you is downright gross. A man in India had a 5 inch long wriggling worm extracted from his eyeball. That’s about 15cm people!!!! The docs aren’t sure where the parasite originally entered from a cut in his foot or from him eating raw food. Ewh. Not grossed out enough there is a video!!!

When Spiders Go Wild

Incoming……

Feet up Indian town of Sadiya  you  have a figgin nasty plague of rogue spiders. Two people have died so far, with scores rocking up at hospitals with bites. Locals say the venomous arachnids  are hanging in swarms and are flying at people who so much as stare at them. One victim said a spider leaped, bit and then stayed latched onto him. Experts are not sure what the hell type spider they are dealing with but fear it could be a new improved version of a tarantula, a black wishbone or a funnel-web spider…. none of which are native to the area. Good luck with that!

Why is Bollywood so unkind?

Poor Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, the Indian actress who was once described as the most beautiful woman in the world, has become the brunt of fat jokes after failing to shed her post baby fat. Seems her Indian fans are none too pleased and have resorted to posting clips of her accompanied by an elephant sound. One angry fan said ‘She is a Bollywood actress and it is her duty to look good and fit,’  Tough crowd!!!