OK, here’s the thing people trying to get a free meal at an Indian restaurant in northern England, don’t be plucking no pubes from ya pants and then throwing them in your curry, especially if they have CCTV. Dude!!!! Evidently a customer put his hands down his pants and grabbed some short and curlies and threw them into his lamb bhuna leftovers so he wouldn’t have to pay for his meal. That’s two weeks in jail fool.
Psst I am pretty sure Indians can recognise their own pubes!!!
You think you’ve had it tough? Spare a thought for an Indian woman who spent 19 years in jail because she couldn’t afford the $92 bail. OK, sure she was in jail for murder but she had no idea that the judge had granted her bail. Her son, who she gave birth to in jail, spent years working in a garment factory to save up for the money. This week she was finally released.
OK, here’s the thing, don’t be pushing your suicidal friend off a bridge into the path of an oncoming train just because she was ‘too scared to do it herself’….. especially if she survives….and especially if she can’t recall asking to be pushed. That’s an attempted murder charge and three years jail right there, mother of six.
OK here’s the thing Georgia teen who was just released from jail. Stealing a school bus to get home because you were too
lazy tired to walk home is gonna get you right back to where you started … jail. Just saying.
Want sauce with that?
Oh for crying out loud mister, give it up already. A 65 year old man who was jailed for attempting to hire a hitman to bump off his neighbor (and ex business partner) has been caught trying to do it again whilst behind bars. When word spread through the jail that he was looking for an inmate to finish off his arch enemy, a plain clothes policeman was set up as bait. Seems it was legit because he offered the cop $10,000. Sheez, what the hell did the neighbor do?
A word of warning to those of you who like sexting. Be very careful not to fat finger it to everyone in your phone address book, because that’s a jailing right there. A swimming coach in the UK found himself facing 18 months jail after he inadvertently sent a message, intended for his girlfriend (asking for sex “skin on skin”), to everyone on his Blackberry smartphone including family, friends and two girls aged 13 and 14. The fact he sent the message to two minors saw him face court, as it wasn’t clear who the message was intended for. Luckily for him he was granted an appeal and the judge suspended his sentence .
I didn’t mean it!!!
Oh my, when Kiwi Phillip Russell found his wife’s pet pig had damaged his power saw, he went ballistic. He stormed off, found the missus, spat at her , then hurled an ostrich egg at her chest which she failed to catch. The thing was, her friggin pet pig had been reaping havoc in the community, damaging not only the neighbor’s property but the council’s too. And this was despite his numerous attempts at getting her to keep the pig under control. Eh bro, that’s like six months jail for assault using an ostrich egg as a weapon.
Psst No, ostrich eggs aren’t common in New Zealand.
2nd Psst In his defense Mr Russell said he thought his wife would catch the egg.
3rd Psst Thanks Fairy Face for the heads up.
Hmm, I wonder if Dr Phil and Oprah will visit Fergie in a Turkish Jail? The Duchess of York is facing some serious jail time (22 years) in a Turkish prison for secretly filming orphanages in their country. The footage was for a British doco entitled Duchess and Daughters: Their Secret Mission. Kinda says it all in the title really!!! Sheeez, Oprah must be spewing, had she not been so quick to axe Finding Sarah: From Royalty to the Real World she may have had a rating bonanza! Finally , a reality show I would watch.
Psst I hear the Royal family couldn’t be more delighted!
Oh, of all the cockamamie things to do, a Florida man, visiting his wife in jail, pulled out his penis to show the missus via the closed circuit TV and got himself thrown in jail too. Well that’s indecent exposure right there.
Oh dear, things aren’t looking very rosy for captain Francesco Schettino of the ill fated Costa Concordia. Prosecutors want Shettino be given 10 years for causing the disaster, 15 for multiple manslaughter and eight years for every passenger abandoned (including those who died), making that a grand total of 2,697 years behind bars. Hmm, what would Captain Merrill Stubing do?