If you happen to win $75,000 in a lottery, what is the first thing you are going to do? Well, if you are two brothers from Wichita, you buy yourself some weed and meth and accidentally blow your friggin house up. Seems you gotta be real careful with large cans of butane lighter fluid when using a bong. All together now ….kaboom! One brother was taken to hospital (still wearing a lottery T-shirt) while the other toddled off to jail. Is that you Darwin, laughing in the background?
Tag Archives: Kansas
Lottery Winners Epic Fail
Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!
What Are The Chances Again?
After Bill Isles from Kansas bought his three tickets for the $656 million lottery, he muttered to his mate “I’ve got a better chance of getting struck by lightning”…. and he was right. Mr Isles was struck a few hours later whilst standing in his back yard in Wichita. Sheez, should have kept you mouth shut. Don’t worry Loons, Mr Isles is OK, he said “It kind of scrambled my brain and gave me an irregular heartbeat.”
Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never
US Storms
Prays and thoughts to everyone in the Midwest and the South who are caught up in the terrible storms and tornadoes. It has been reported the Indiana town of Marysville has been totally wiped off the map. Stay safe US loons.
Filed under I'm Just Saying !
Kidnapper Sues Hostages
Heed this warning, people who get taken as hostages, never, ever make a verbal deal with a murder suspect even if he offers you lots and lots of money. In 2009 Jared and Lindsay Rowley were lalala-ing in their Kansas home when Jesse Dennis Dimmick burst in with a knife and begged them to hide him for an unspecific amount of money. Not having much choice they agreed,but the second Dimmick dozed off, they bolted. Fast forward 3 years and the Rowley’s are being sued by Dimmick for $235,000 because they broke their verbal agreement to hide him. Seems he got shot by the SWAT team after the Rowley’s fled and he wants them to foot the medical bills. The Rowleys meanwhile want $75,000 for the emotional stress caused by the fool.
Psst I think this is a case for Judge Judy!!!
2nd Psst Thanks to Susi Spice for the heads up.
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never
Dead Body On Roof
OK, here’s the thing minivan driver in Kansas, when you hit a man with your vehicle it’s courtesy to stop, NOT continue driving with the dead man on your roof. I’m just saying! It is alleged Mohamed Sarrafizadeh hit the lawn mowing contractor as he was using a weed wacker along a street. The impact sent the victim flying onto the windshield and then up onto roof which had a luggage rack on top. Horrified motorists contacted police when they saw the body. Sarrafizadeh was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.
Psst It’s now been confirmed the man driving the van was a doctor!
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World
Lions, and Tigers, and Snakes! Oh, my!
Whats for dinner?
Egads, a Kansas cop is one brave friggin dude after he pried a woman from the jaws of a 8ft (2.4m) pet python. Chrystal Wilson had just let her albino snake out of its cage for a feeding when it decided she was good enough to eat and clasped its jaws on the side of her neck. Terrific! A child in the house quickly rang police and officer Max Bryant came to the rescue. He grabbed the python’s nose and jaw and prised its mouth open before the snake went in for the killing crush . Dude you deserve a medal. Oh wait, you have been nominated for a bravery award. Well done. As for Ms Wilson, she has been fined for harboring the animal. Might want to sleep with one eye open!!!!
Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!
As Useless As A Fart In A Thunderstorm
Oh dear lord!
OK, fess up, which one of you Prairie P & P’s was it? Paul Weigand from Wichita, Kansas, thought he could get around the mandatory seat belt law by wearing himself a belt made from an old seat belt because technically he was wearing it …it just wasn’t attached to anything. Hmm, the judge explained to him in court that, yes, the law didn’t specifically state the belt had to be “attached” BUT the intent of the law was to protect drivers and his job was to follow the intent of the law. So basically that was a $126 smart ass idea. In his defense Weigand said he refused to wear a seat belt because he had a phobia about being trapped in a burning car …ala Harry Chapin. Hmm, how’s about a phobia of flying head first through a windshield straight into a tree?
Psst Yes, he wore his fake belt as he left court, just in case you were wondering!
Want sauce with that? Seriously, check out the dude in the vid…hilarious.
Whip It Good
Sheez, a kindy in Kansas sure knows how to discipline their little snowflakes. A few whips from a horse riding crop will pretty much do it. The only prob, the owner Shirley McClellan shouldn’t have told the Kansas Department of Health and Environment her discipline habits because now they have friggin revoked her daycare license. Bummer, back in the draw for that little weapon.
