Fashion Mogul Twist

When a small Venezuela tourist plane carrying Vittorio Missoni (the CEO of the Italian fashion company Missoni), his wife and brother disappeared , authorities feared the worst. That was last week. Now, after a fruitless land and sea search and a weird text message, Italian police believe the group may have been kidnapped.The son of one of the passengers recieved a strange text message from his father the day after the plane went missing leading to speculation it’s a kidnapping. I smell a midday movie.

Raised By A Colony of Monkeys You Say?

A housewife living in England is about to write a book about her life. Marina Chapman claims she was abandoned in a Colombian jungle after a botched kidnapping and raised by a colony of Capuchin monkeys for 5 years. I know, I know, crazy huh? Marina believes in the 1950s (when she was 5 years old) she was abducted and held for ransom but something went wrong and her captors dumped her in the jungle. At some stage a bunch of monkeys took her in and taught her to hunt with her bare hands. When she was about 10, a group of hunters found her but instead of handing her over to authorities they sold her to a brothel. Eventually she managed to escape and was taken in by a family. In her twenties she traveled to the UK and met her future hubby and had two kids. Now the book.

Want sauce with that?

Not The Best Choice of Tourist Destination

Help

OK, here’s the thing Toronto man, you don’t go holidaying in Afghanistan while the US is still at war with the Taliban, because that’s a friggin kidnapping right there! Colin Rutherford has been held hostage by the Taliban since 2010 and the family are now trying to tee up a meeting with his captors via email “so we can work something out.” Hmm, I’m not sure they are the negotiating type? Anywho, seems the Canadian government have exhausted all avenues (seriously?). Colin went for a two week sight seeing vacation and 14 months later he is still there. Come on, can’t someone help? Oh and don’t look at me, I think I still have a few fatwas out on me!

Kidnapper Sues Hostages

Heed this warning, people who get taken as hostages, never, ever make a verbal deal with a murder suspect  even if he offers you lots and lots of money. In 2009 Jared and Lindsay Rowley were lalala-ing in their Kansas home when Jesse Dennis Dimmick burst in  with a knife and begged them to hide him for an unspecific amount of money. Not having much choice they agreed,but the second Dimmick dozed off, they bolted. Fast forward 3 years and the Rowley’s are being sued by Dimmick for $235,000 because they broke their verbal agreement to hide him. Seems he got shot by the SWAT team after the Rowley’s fled and he wants them to foot the medical bills. The Rowleys meanwhile want $75,000 for the emotional stress caused by the fool.

Psst I think this is a case for Judge Judy!!!

2nd Psst Thanks to Susi Spice for the heads up.

Want sauce with that?

Racist Goat Painted Black

Why are you staring at me?

How do you get up the nostril of the Swiss People’s Party, a seriously far right group? Kidnap their mascot, Zottel the goat and paint him black. That ought to do it. Zottel, according to the party’s website, is “against mass immigration”.

RIP J Paul Getty III

Remember the grandson of oil magnate J Paul Getty? You know, the one who lost an ear during a kidnapping in 1973. Come on people,  dig deep. The 16 year old was in Rome when he got napped and the family procrastinated on paying the ransom because they thought it was just him trying to squeeze money out of his tight assed grandpa. Later the kidnappers sent a lock of the young Getty’s hair and one of his ears to a newspaper to prove it wasn’t no hoax. Ring any bells? Gramps eventually coughed up $2.8 million in ransom money but told his son the money was a loan and expected it paid back to him at 4% interest. J Paul Getty III was later found frail and shivering on a highway 5 months after having been kidnapped. The experience left the young man traumatized and he eventually fell into cocaine and heroin addiction. In 1981 he had a massive stroke which left him paralyzed and in need of around the clock care.This time daddy (who had inherited Getty seniors wealth following his death in 1976) refused to pay the medical bills and it was a judge who finally forced the wealthy father to cough up.J Paul Getty the “golden hippie” died on saturday surrounded by family in England, he was only 54.RIP.

Hero Alert

Guo Gangtang has been searching and searching and searching for his missing son for 13 years. In those years he has covered 400,000 km on an old motorbike and sold painted gourds to fund the search. His son Guo Zhong (2) disappeared in 1997 after a strange woman began talking to him while he played outside. He believes he was kidnapped and sold to a childless couple. Despite Gangtang’s efforts, there has been no trace of Guo Zhong. However, on his 13 year odyssey he has armed himself with info on other missing children and so far has found and reunited 7 missing children with their families “When I find the kids of other people, their happiness is like a miracle.”. Hero, hero, hero!

Equal Opportunity Gang

Oh my, seems Zimbabwe has a gang of women rapists terrorizing men. I know, it doesn’t seem right! But anywho it’s true, a gang of three women have been kidnapping, drugging and then raping men over the past year. The latest victim said he was offered a lift by these women and subsequently drugged. When he awoke, there he was stark naked with the women taking it in turns to rape him. He told police he passed out after the assault and was then dumped.Police haven’t a clue what the motive is behind the sex attacks but suspect it maybe for ritual purposes.

Psst Hmm, a loophole in Zimbabwean law means if the women are caught they won’t be charged with rape as it only applies to women victims.

Two And A Half Years In A Coffin

What the? Indian biotechnology scientist, Rajab Killaker spent two and a half years locked in a coffin after he refused to give a family his bungalow. Hitesh Karavadra whacked Mr Killaker over the head with a baseball bat, kidnapped him, then kept him in a 6 foot 3″ coffin, only letting him out once a day for a meal. The poor man was only rescued after police received a tip off. Now Mr Killaker has laid charges against up to seven members of Mr Karavadra’s family.

Spooks Kidnapped Iranian Nuclear Scientist?

Sometimes real life is way cooler than the movies. Tehran just televised a video clip from a man claiming to be a Iranian nuclear scientist who said he was kidnapped by US agents and had just escaped. Capricorn friggin One!  The video which was dated June 14th and is believed to feature Shahram Amiri, a nuclear scientist who went missing in 2009 after arriving in Saudi Arabia for a pilgrimage. In the video he says “A few minutes ago I managed to escape from the hands of US intelligence agents in Virginia ….. If something happens and I do not return home alive, the US Government will be responsible,” He goes on to ask Iranian officials to raise pressure on the US Government to help get him the hell out of there. Interestingly ABC News reported in March that Amiri had defected and was working for the US Central Intelligence Agency. Oh dear, I wonder if Imadinnerjacket and his cronies threatened Amiri’s family in Iran?

Psst Hmm, amazing how the minute he escapes Amiri is making a video clip. I’d be still friggin running!!!