Oh my, why are all these pages stuck together?
A word of warning to anyone contemplating masturbating in libraries. A man from Wisconsin has been banned from “all the libraries on the face of the earth.”after he slapped his sausage one too many times in a public library. The ban is part of his bond. Sheez, doesn’t he know you can go blind?
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never
Actor Fred Willard, who was caught doing a Peewee Herman in an adult movie theater yesterday, has a new film about to be released, and believe it or not, it’s called “The Yank”. Hmm, seems the sequel was released first ..Yank 2
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!
Naughty boy
It’s bad enough when a truck pulls up next to you while you’re naked and masturbating in your car , but even worse when the arresting officer finds a toy pistol sticking up your butt and another contraption tied to your genitals. I think you should put Fifty Shades of Grey down right now mister!!!!
Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never
Masturbating in a cubicle, and you?
Ever wanted to know how many days you would get in a correctional facility for masturbating at Zellers department store in Charlottetown? Evidently 15. Oh come on people, the 51 year old was doing it in a closed cubicle in the men’s toilets for crying out loud!!! Moral of the story is never open the door while your hand is still on your penis if a security guard knocks and asks you what you’re doing.
Oh my, Connecticut prison officials are pushing new laws to have masturbating inmates labelled sex offenders. Hmm, what could possibly go wrong? Seems its become quite a sport to whip it out and slap the monkey in front of prison guards and counselors, especially if they are women. If the legislation gets passed 5 years could be added to sentences of inmates found guilty. Officials say the behavior isn’t about sex but about power and demoralizing someone. Evidently last year there were 500 incidents at one prison alone.
Psst Hmm, so if it isn’t about sex, why do they want to label them “sex offenders” maybe it is better just to call them power, control freaking wankers ?
The life of a female newspaper delivery woman can often be rewarding but at times it can also be quite confrontational. Just ask the poor Easton delivery woman, she was minding her own beeswax, merrily delivering the papers at 5.30am when some balding, middle aged, naked guy jumps out of the bushes and begins yelling obscenities and masturbating in front of her.
Psst Slow news day!
Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!
You dirty birdy!!!
Ewh, here’s something you don’t want to hear while eating your Cheerios. Polygamist rapist Warren Jeffs likes to masturbate up to 15 times a day whilst in jail. One of the lucky prison guards assigned to the tosser said Jeffs was continually slapping the sausage and not at all perturbed at who saw. Hmm, he’s gonna have some mighty sore wrists and a guide dog by the time he gets out!!!!
It's like sitting on a friggin bunch of grapes!
Oh for crying out loud Richard Garcia, if you are going to expose yourself in a car outside a courthouse and rub your genitals in front of a detective don’t be telling him you were just applying hemorrhoid cream when the tube you are holding is clearly marked K-Y Warming Jelly. That’s masturbating here in the state of Florida. Mr Garcia was released on $150 bail.
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!
