A wheelchair bound shoplifter with mutliple arrests has done it again, but this time he was caught in the produce aisle naked with cherry tomatoes covering his privates. He was also caught concealing a half frozen Jimmy Dean sausage sandwich (location not disclosed) . Ewh, I hope they didn’t put them back on the shelf.
You know what I hate? When you come home and find some dude dancing naked in your house . I really friggin hate that, especially when he refuses to leave. When El Paso cops arrived they found the intruder still inside but he had quit dancing and was just lying on the bed starkers. Oh why, oh why didn’t they report what kind of dance he was doing, so I could get the full picture in my head? Now all I see is a naked man dancing like Ellen .
I get no kick from champagne
Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of painting my gates in the dark , naked?
A 76 year old pensioner in Cumbria has had to plonk his name on a sex offenders register after he got caught varnishing his back gates at night while naked. Yeah OK, he’s had 8 other convictions and admits he gets sexual gratification from being nude but he’s adamant that he doesn’t get turned on from being seen by others. Now the poor guy isn’t allowed to appear in a public place naked or wearing less than one garment of clothing except unless he’s in need of a medical examination.
Yes officer can I help you?
OK Loons, there is nothing wrong with doing yoga in a park unless of course you like to do it naked at 10.40 on a Sunday morning. When police arrived at Cortez Park in West Covina they found a completely naked 19 year old in a yoga pose. I’m hoping it wasn’t the Upward Facing Two-Foot Staff Pose…. just saying.
Psst Wouldn’t the grass make her itchy?
Note to self, when putting a photo up on eBay, make sure you don’t accidentally appear in the photo naked!!!! Oh dear, this poor British blonde has become an internet sensation after posting a photo of her yellow skater dress on eBay. Awkward doesn’t seem to cut it.
Move over Arkansas we have a new streaker. A man in Seattle, who randomly football tackled a 16 year old girl and her bro, ran into a lake and stripped off after being chased by police. For 2 hours the naked dude bobbed and frolicked while cops and firefighters tried to retrieve him. He later went running around Duck Island starkers. Police said…and I quote…. “We don’t believe he has any weapons especially considering the temperature of the water.” Hmm, what kinda of weapons were they inferring???? The unidentified man was later taken into custody.
Psst Big Shout out to Craig Berry for sending the naked truth.
Oh boy, granny won’t be happy. Seems Prince Harry’s been flaunting his Royal jewels around Las Vegas. Obviously what happens in Vegas stays on TMZ. For crying out loud Harry, you could have at least moved your hands a little so we could get a squiz!!!!
Psst Wanna see….click here to TMZ
Attention all loons living in Lubbock, Texas, you now have a naked maid service. Yes, for $100 an hour the Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock will provide you with a naked maid but no touching.
Psst Hmm, just never, ever let them sit down.