Constable Careless

Standby Nanny Staters of the police officer variety, you are about to receive a 93 page manual on how to ride a bike. I know, I know, at last something to refer to if you fall off! Known as The official Police Cycle Training Doctrine, it cost the taxpayers  a pretty penny to produce but [...]

It’s A Health and Safety Issue People!

And a Nanny State morning to you all. Stanley Brown, a grieving widow, has been banned from laying more than one bunch of flowers at his wife’s grave. Seems those extra bouquets are a health and safety risk. You see, it could obstruct the gardeners from cutting the lawn and make them trip! Bless the [...]

Color Me Dumbass

Poor little snowflake was denied Wine Gums in Nanny Stateland. Seems the Cambridgeshire shopkeeper was unfamilar with the popular sweet and told Jaz Bhogal (15) he couldn’t buy them because he was too young to drink. Despite Bhogal having the “WTF” face, the shopkeeper refused to sell him the 99p packet because he wasn’t over [...]

It Was Just A Hairline Crack!

OMG, Nanny State’s  broadcaster  has changed the ending to the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme. Seems the little snowflakes might get too upset if they think the big ol’ egg can’t be put back together again so it’s much better if they just think all the King’s horses “made Humpty happy again”. BBC take a bow.

Toddler Escapes Jail

Nanny State police say they had no choice but to investigate an attack on a car despite the perpetrator being 2 years old. The neighbors had rung police complaining that the toddler had deliberately hit their car with a tree branch. Even though the police from Trowbridge listed the girl as a suspect she was [...]

You Could Make A Stir With One Of Those!

Damn, I nearly went a whole week without a Nanny State story but this one just snuck in under the wire. Evidently Tesco in the UK have recently introduced a “Think 25″ campaign where it encourages customers to show their ID when purchasing certain products like ciggies and alcohol if they look under 25. Saves [...]

The Constant Gardener

Nanny State strikes again. A mother of two has been threatened with arrest because she pulled a dead flower from a council bed! Angie Summers the unlucky gardener was on her lunch break when she saw a withered canna lily and decided to pluck the sucker from the bed. Well blow me down with a [...]

Nanny State Alert

Health and safety officials have banned a vicar from winding the St Michael’s church clock in Cornwall because it is too dangerous to climb the 8 steps of a ladder, despite the feat being performed for 200 years without incident. Bless.

Too Dumb To Marry

Well hello Nanny State, I haven’t seen you rear your head all week! Hmm, until now. Social workers at Fife council in the UK have told Kerry Robertson (17), 48 hours before she is due to walk down the aisle, that she can’t marry her partner Mark McDougall because she isn’t intelligent enough. Oh dear, [...]

Be Unprepared

Bummer. Boy Scouts in Britain will no longer be allowed to carry knives….anywhere (including camping). Well that just made scouting a whole lot little less exciting. No truly Nanny State, you just made them a bunch of girl guides! The Scout Association said “We believe that young people need more places to go after school [...]