No One Touches The Pop Tarts!!!

A sweet toothed mother had her juvenile son arrested for stealing her Pop Tarts. The kid is now facing larceny/misdemeanor charges. I wonder if they were the 100s and 1000s ones?

Psst North Carolina

Lord Almighty

A woman in North Carolina has been charged with assault using a deadly Bible . The woman allegedly used the Good Book to thump another woman, leaving her covered in cuts and bruises. No word on what the fight was about but I’m guessing it wasn’t Luke 6:29.

Church vs Vultures

Holy roof eating birds from hell, Batman. The Bethlehem Baptist Church in North Carolina has a little prob. They have been over run with vultures. So much so they have commissioned someone to make a dead vulture effigy in an attempt to scare them off. The effigy is hanging upside down from the church’s steeple. Begone roof eating vultures.

The KKK Are Alive and Well In Harmony

Check out the front page headline news of a North Carolina newspaper.

Change For A Million ?

OK,  here’s the thing man from North Carolina, make sure when you are using a fake bill at Walmart, it isn’t a million dollar note because the US mint don’t print such a thing. Hmm, and besides, who has friggin change. Michael Anthony Fuller spent $476 worth of goods before handing over the Walmart cashier the phony $1 million bill, they in turn called the cops and he was promptly arrested.

Psst Note to future forgers, the US mint stop printing anything larger than$100 in 1969.

Never Deny a Man Toilet Paper

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, who couldn’t wipe his bum because there was no toilet paper in his hotel room got all postal and caused $2,000 worth of damage. Shit!

First Date Fail

You know what I hate? When you are going out on a first date and you accidentally shoot yourself with your gun. I really friggin hate that. The couple from North Carolina had just finished a meal when the guy got into his car and kaboom, right through his leg.

That Could Have Been A Blast

Why is it I never find cool stuff in the crap I buy? Some woman in North Carolina found a live grenade in the drawer of an antique sewing machine she purchased. Yes indeedy, the Seymour Johnson Air force Base Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit were called in and they confirmed it was a live German grenade from WWI.

Maybe He Should Have Ask For A Breast?

OK, here’s the thing mister, you don’t go exposing yourself at a North Carolina  fast food joint just because they ran out of chicken legs, have you no pride? Hmm, it’s been alleged that Jason Gross, who was a passenger in car, slowly flashed his penis at a drive thru worker after being told they had no more chicken legs. The employee said Mr Gross swore at her then declared he had a  “leg for you” before slowly revealing his genitals. Hmm, she then went on to say  “It’s going to be forever ingrained in my head.” Ain’t that the truth!

Mother Nature Is Pissed!

Sheez, mother nature isn’t finished with us yet. The US has just had 62 tornadoes sweep through the southern states killing up to 44 people.North Carolina, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and Virginia have all been in the firing line of the storms and its fury. Thoughts and prayers are with those who have lost their homes and/or their loved ones.