Toot, Toot, Kim Jong Il Express

Kim Jong Il, you cheeky little leader. You didn’t tell me you had 19 private friggin train stations, oh and 90 carriages all for your very own. All of Kimmy’s trains are decked out with conference rooms, reception halls, TVs, satellite phones, elaborate bedrooms and high tech communication crap.Oh and for anyone planning to blow [...]

Will the Real Kim Jong Il Please Sit Down

Is the real Kim Jong  ill? The Japanese rumor mill has been running hot with whispers that  the real Kim Jong Il is either gravely ill or dead and that an impostor has taken his place. OK,  we’ve heard it all before  but now the Japanese are stepping up their claims saying that the photo [...]

Excuse Me, I Think You Are Going The Wrong Way!

Well I’ll be, a South Korean man has defected to the North. Kim Jong Il will be proud! Oh and get this, the ex Samsung Electronics worker and pig farmer, Kang Dong-rim, defected by walking through a friggin field of land mines and razor wire. The North’s KCNA news agency said “He is beside himself [...]

North Korea On Fire

WTF. Is Kimmy Jong Il OK? NASA are freaking out after satellite images show North Korea on friggin fire! Say it ain’t so! Huge plumes of smoke can be seen very clearly billowing across the northeast of the country. Everyone panic. Hmm, maybe Kim Jong Il is simply having a BBQ. The plume can be [...]

Sven-Goran Eriksson Is Wooed By North Korea

WTF! No seriously WTF! How dare Sven-Goran Eriksson consider managing North Korea at the 2010 World Cup, I wanted that job, Geez! Kim Jong Il must have weaved some magic, bribed him with an unlimited supply of Pyongy beer, wooed him with his charisma. Hang on! Wait one minute, when did North Korea qualify for [...]

Bill Clinton To The Rescue

Shhh, we still have to be hush, hush, because you know Kim Jong Il has tendencies to change his mind but it looks like the two jailed American journalists are the luckiest women in Pyongyang ! Bill Clinton’s the man. He went on a little mission to visit Il and play nice (despite all the [...]

Would You Like Potatoes With That?

Hooley, Dooley what a difference a month makes. One minute Kim Jong Il is asking the public to get their chops around dog soup and now they have opened up a Hamburger joint.Hang on just one minute…hmm, I would stay clear of the hot dogs people! I’m just saying. It’s true, the Samtaeseong diner has [...]

Hello, Is That Cesar Millan?

Dear Leader is falling back on a few of Daddy’s favorite dishes to appease the starving masses. Yes, while Kim Jong Il chows down on his imported Italian cuisine and home brewed Pyongy beer, he is encouraging the public to chomp on some dangogi (loosely translated to mean dog). Kimmy’s papa Kim Il Sung was [...]

Queer Guy For the Straight Eye

Sheez, ever since Kim Jong Il became a fashion guru of sorts, he has become highly critical of the international community. He makes no secret of the fact he loathes Imadinnerjacket’s love of grey suits but now poor old Hillary has come under the microscope of Il fashion. I’m guessing her comfy (more than one [...]

Michael Jackson And Kim Jong Il

Now there are two names you don’t  often see in a sentence together. But according to TMZ and Gotham Chopra, Michael Jackson was trying to find a way to contact Kim Jung Il! Hmm, seems MJ was thinking if he could teach the Dear Leader to moonwalk or something, he might be able to talk [...]