Oklahoma Teachers Are Tornado Heroes

I would just like to give a shout out to all the teachers of the two Oklahoma Elementary Schools who used themselves as human shields to protect the children. Heroes. The photo below shows a collection of images of teachers comforting their students in the aftermath.

 

Oklahoma Hit By Earthquake

Oklahoma shakes after being hit with the largest earthquake in known history. Buildings swayed and people ran after the earth moved with a 5.6er. Sheez, in the big scheme of things it was a baby quake. Settle Mr Camping!!!

Feet Up Oklahoma!!!

Here’s a statistic you didn’t see coming, black widow spider bites have doubled in Oklahoma in the past year, making it a grand total of 49. The Oklahoma Poison Control Center suspect the figure could be higher with people just not reporting them. How do you know if you’ve been bitten? Either you see the nasty assed spider chomp it’s fangs into you or you begin suffering from nausea, a headache, and muscle cramps.

Guns and Sex Don’t Mix

A man in Oklahoma told police he accidentally shot his wife in the head during a fantasy sex game involving a gun. Awkward! Hmm, Arthur John Sedille (23) told police he grabbed a handgun from next to the bed, cocked the gun, put it  to Rebecca Sedille’s  head and it went kaboom. He said he didn’t have a clue it was loaded. Mrs Sedille (50) was pronounced dead at the  hospital.

Hey, You’re Not Autistic!

Oh for crying out loud Mark Anthony Richardson Jr what the hell were you thinking? Junior admitted to acting severely autistic , wearing diapers, drinking from a baby’s bottle and using a pacifier to con babysitters into looking after him. Ewh! The babysitters told the cops he got sexually aroused when they changed his diapers. One even got her boob squeezed. Junior used Craigslist (of course!) to find potential victims.

Psst Oh, give the dude a break, he’s only 4 ft 9″ and lives in Oklahoma.

Strike

Holy Big Lebowski Batman, who would throw a friggin bowling ball from an overpass? Some fool did in Checotah, Oklahoma, and nearly wiping out a four year old. The bowling bowl crashed into the windshield of a truck and  sprayed glass all over little Clyde Odom. Hmm, maybe someone got confused with car and bowling lanes?

Some People Have All The Luck

 

and I can type 100 words a minute!

 

Picture this, you toddle off for a lunch break at work only to return and find a naked man at your computer watching porn.Awkward! When confronted Curtis John Halberstadt (57) told the befuddled office worker he was “cleaning and trying to make some money.” Hmm, pausable. Oklahoma police arrested the naked guy.

Psst Might want to wash down your seat and keyboard..I’m just saying!

To Be Or Not To Be

Hmm, here’s the thing, you have been on death row for 15 years but you swear you’re innocent, what ya gonna do? Go on friggin Youtube and plead your case, that’s what. Jeffrey Matthews and his friend Tracy Dyer were found guilty of killing Otis Short in Oklahoma in 1994. Dyer admitted guilt and got life but Matthews denied even being there and got the death penalty. As a last ditch effort to get the Governor of Oklahoma to reopen the case he has made a plea via Youtube.

Here’s the story

Here’s the plea

So what do you think loons, guilty or innocent? Should they have a retrial or lethally inject?

Underwear Bandit

Police in Oklahoma are looking for a woman who robbed a Mcdonalds store wearing an underwear mask and a blonde wig. Must have been brief!!! OMG, the undies don’t look very clean !

Don’t Friggin Mess With The Pharmacists Dude

Sorry for laughing dumbass but those bottles of hydrocodone you stole from the Edmont Pharmacy were filled with M&Ms.  After having being burgled on numerous occasions the pharmacist decided to have some sweet revenge and filled the pill bottles with candy. Suck on those placebos!