Lubricant Disfigures Penis

No honey, it isn’t suppose to be that big

Oh dear, a Philadelphia man is suing The Kama Sutra Co. and Kamsut Inc. for allegedly making his penis burn and swell after he applied their lubricating and desensitizing gel, resulting in permanent disfigurement and loss of sensation. Ouch. 

Penis Flashing Political Flyer

Oh for crying out loud Mr MP, make sure you check your flyers before sending them to 50,000  Brisbane voters … I’m just saying. Andrew Laming had to send an apology after it was pointed out to him, that a man in one of the “Australia Day Celebration” photos on the flyer was flashing his penis. The man in the photo will be left even more red faced after Mr Laming said he was recalling the brochures due to  a “really tiny” detail.

 

Sex With Snowman Ends in Frostbite

One of the main reasons you don’t have sex with a snowman when you’re drunk is that you could get frostbite on your dick. Hey Duncan, are you OK? The 64 year old man was admitted to the hospital screaming in pain after screwing the 5ft snowman.  Residents in Blackburn are fuming that “He left a pile of empty bottles, a wrecked snowman and a trail of frozen man-juice in the middle of the community recreation ground.”

Want sauce with that?

Assault With A Penis

Oh my, a 62 year old man from the US has been jailed for 5 days after he assaulted his estranged wife with his penis. Seems when she declined the $20 he offered to have sex with her , he whipped it out and whacked her with it. Seriously, how big was it? Hmm, it isn’t like it was assault with a deadly weapon.

Here Today Gone Tomorrow

A 50 year old Thai man is without his genitals today after he had olive oil injected into his penis to make it bigger. Seriously guys, you have to get over size does matter thingy. Seems it is quite popular in Thailand to have the olive oil treatment and so is the severe infections that can result.

Porn Star Has Penis Insured

Here’s a Trivial Pursuit question for you. How much did the British porn studio Brazzers insure their number one porn star’s penis for? Hmm, if you said a million bucks, stand up and clap. After Keiran Lee had a medical exam, to make sure his thingamajiggy was all fit and healthy, he was given the stamp of approval. Here’s the bitch though, the policy doesn’t include loss of penis and, if by some strange chance, the family jewels gets injured, his boss gets the pay out. Porn stars aren’t bright, are they?

Psst  I wonder if the policy includes impotence?  A curious Loon wants to know!!!

Rat Nibbles Off Patient’s Penis

Look away loons, this is nasty. A man in  Bengal hospital had his penis nibbled off by a rat. Yes, you heard me, nibbled off!!! Arun Sandhukha was found by relatives lying in a pool of blood in a hospital bed after being admitted with pneumonia. He died later that day. Authorities admitted the ward was home to quite a few  rodents.

Pumping Party?

OK guys, if you are invited to a pumping party just be warned, it doesn’t mean pumping weights.  Justin Street died from a  fatal blood clot after silicone was injected into his penis at what has become the latest do-it-yourself plastic surgery fad. The woman who held the party, Kasia Rivera, has been arrested and charged with manslaughter and practicing medicine without a license. Whatever happened to good old tupperware parties?

Giant Mystery Penis in Suburban Stockholm

Swedish business Per-Olof Söderberg got a nice little surprise when he was told a giant penis had been mowed into the lawn next to the home he is trying to sell. The phallus was discovered when a reporter writing a story about the sale of the villa sort an aerial view.

While You Were Sleeping

Look away men, this could bring an enormous tear to your eye. A Vietnamese woman was so livered that her hubby had had an affair she grabbed a pair of scissors while he was sleeping, snipped off his penis and threw it in the river. Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad, she only cut half of it off. Sheez! After handing herself in she told police he was a wife beating, jobless, druggie. Hmm I’m guessing  the marriage is over then!