You Dirty Rat You Ate My Pizza

The Green Eggs Cafe in Pennsylvania is in damage control after a sewer main burst and unleashed a flood of rats into their restaurant. Locals were on hand to film and upload the rodents feasting away.

New York Rats Could Be Thing Of The Past

A company in the US are planning to sterilize all the female rats in New York by feeding them ContraPest, a product that accelerates egg loss and can cause infertility in days. What could possibly go wrong ?

You Talking To Me?

Hey, psst, know where I can get me some RatSak?

Feet up Sydneysiders, there is a new rat in town and it ain’t scared of no bait traps, in fact it’s friggin immune to poison. No, I take that back, they are friggin addicted to it!!!! Yep, the super-rodents get a buzz from Ratsak. So sleep with one eye open or those ground-dwelling sewer rats and roof rats may just kick your sorry ass out of  bed.

Will They Never Learn?

Well ain’t this ironic, rats have chewed through an electric cable powering a fountain in the town of  Hamlin in Germany. Should have paid the Pied Piper!

Rat Nibbles Off Patient’s Penis

Look away loons, this is nasty. A man in  Bengal hospital had his penis nibbled off by a rat. Yes, you heard me, nibbled off!!! Arun Sandhukha was found by relatives lying in a pool of blood in a hospital bed after being admitted with pneumonia. He died later that day. Authorities admitted the ward was home to quite a few  rodents.

Never Give A Hoarder A Pet Rat

Hope no one has shat in the toilet yet!

Attention loons, anyone interested in a pet rat? There are a 1,000 of them currently up for adoption after the TV show Hoarders unearthed the mischief of rodents in a unnamed hoaders home. See, it all started when some idiot gave the hoarder a friggin pregnant rat as a pet. Hello people, hoarders don’t need pets or anything that multiplies. Anywho, a neighbor rang the TV show after the rats had pretty much eaten his home and had begun frolicking on the property. When help arrived they discovered half an inch of rat droppings covering the entire house and a community of rats making happy in the wall insulation. Enter an 18 wheel truck which carted the plague to Andy’s Pet Shop in San Jose. Now you can adopt a hoarder’s rodent. Anyone?

Giant Rats

OK, no need to friggin panic people, but anyone living in Bradford, West Yorks,  might want to arm themselves with guns…big friggin guns. Rats the size of dogs are terrorizing the area. The super rats are so enormous the residents are using guns to friggin kill them. One rodent measured 2½ft. The fear is these rats are a species native to South America (which grow twice the size of normal rats) and are breeding out of control. A concerned resident said “At night you can hear them chasing each other in the loft. They sound like drag racing cars as they screech across the rafters.” another said she saw one on her lounge when she was watching TV. Hmm, good luck with that. Note to self, never visit Bradford.

Psst Want to see the shot rat? Click here Giant Rats In Bradford.

Isn’t There An Easier Way of Getting Rid Of Rats?

Oh for goodness sakes, three people in Ukraine have died after the head of the household, decided to exterminate the rats in their house with exhaust fumes. Sheez, this was always going to end up badly. The 71 year old man attached a hose to his ZAZ-968 “Zaporozhets” car’s exhaust pipe and put the other end of the hose into the basement. Once he started the car’s engine  he went upstairs and let the fumes do the rest.  Unfortunately curiosity got the better of him and he snuck downstairs to have a quick peek of his handy work. But as soon as he entered the basement, kaboom, he lost consciousness. A little while later his worried wife ventured down to the basement in search of her hubby and kaboom, she too fell down unconscious. OK, you are beginning to see a pattern here right? Next their granddaughter. In the end all three died.

Psst No Jammers, I don’t know if he managed to kill any rats!

One Giant Rat Hole

Wanna watch TV tonight or chew a chair leg?

OMG, a woman from Las Cruces in New Mexico has been found living with over 170 feral rats, all about the size of a 5 month old kittens. Pets people, pets! The rat hole was discovered when Debbie Martin called an ambulance and had to be extracted from the house via a window because the stench was too overwhelming. Evidently the rats had taken over the house, chewing on cupboards and furniture while Ms Martin threw them food. Animal control officers later removed over 170 rats but believe there could be twice that many still hiding in there. Fur and skeletal remains of two dogs were found, believed to have been eaten by the rats.

Psst I bet she slept with one eye open!

2nd Psst I wonder if she had names for them all?

You Dirty Rats

Hey Freddy, feel like pizza tonight?

Quick, get the pied piper on the line, we have a problem. Dear god New York’s Upper East Side is under siege by a plague of rats (of the vermin kind). The problem is so bad one resident claims at night “It looks like the street’s moving,”. The rat invasion is being blamed on a massive subway project but despite contractors having a rodent control program the infestation is getting worse, which suggests they aren’t coming from the subway at all!

Psst Now you see, I would have the thought the roaches would have a problem with this!