Sesame Street in PR Nightmare

Attention loons in Florida, be on the look out for a man in a cookie monster hat, he is wanted in connection with a robbery at a Ocala store. In other Sesame Street news, it seems the man behind Elmo’s voice is in trouble over allegations he had underage sex with a 16 year old boy, 7 years ago. Hmm, well I’m guessing Tickle Me Elmo won’t be a big seller this Chrissy.

Soup Foils Robbery

Who needs a gun to foil a robbery when you have a pot of soup. All hail the Subway worker in Illinois who threw a pot of soup over an armed robber (who was wearing a ghost mask). The dude exited stage left after the dunking without getting so much as a dime. I better it was CHICKEN soup!!!

Psst He could have whacked him with a foot long!!!

That’s No Way To be A Robber, Son.

You know you suck at robbery when you have to ask a Subway cashier for a pen so you can write a hold up note.The dumbass then sat down in a booth , wrote his demands on a piece of paper and then waited for all the customers to leave. When he eventually handed the cashier the note she pressed the alarm button. You can pretty much guessed what happened from there. Such is the life of a crack addict.

Epic Robbery Fail

OK, here’s the thing, when robbing a fast food restaurant do not, and I repeat, DO NOT  do it at your place of work AND especially when having just finished a shift. Make sure your disguise is good enough to fool the staff, who know you and can identify you and will mock you to the media with quotes like this “Apparently he needs to work on that disguise a little” . And finally,  don’t be rocking up to work on Monday to say hi to your work mates, especially when they are being interviewed by police. That’s an arresting right there. Stupid is as stupid does.

Psst Alabama.

Buxom Bandit

Last week an Aussie woman with big boobs held up a gas station with a knife. For reasons unknown the attendant had trouble giving police a full description of her face . Hmmm ? She is now an internet sensation.

Robber Leaves His Finger At The Scene

OK, if the armed robber from Albuquerque is looking for his severed finger, the police have  it. Seems he accidentally shot it off during a gunfight at a smoke shop.

Man’s Best Friend

This is MY home now!

An Ohio couple who rescued a Saint Bernard from a dog home to save it from being euthanizied are grateful they did.  7 hours after taking it home, Hercules saved their house from being burgled . Lee Littler had just taken Hercules outside when he suddenly began growling. A few minutes later a man came running out from the Littler’s basement. Hercules took off after him, nipping the suspected burglar on the ankle as he flew over a fence. Police later confirmed the man had cut the Littler’s phone and cable lines. Good doggie.

Latest Masked Robber

Oh dear, the latest masked robbery is brought to you by a man in a gorilla mask. Yep, he robbed a taco stand wearing an ape mask and waving around stun gun. His accomplice  went in moments before and ordered a burrito before ape face demanded money. Hmm, kind of a lot of effort for just a taco stand really!

Not so tough now, punk!

A would-be robber got donged on the head with a folding chair after he pulled a knife on a convenience store clerk. Not only did it nearly knock his friggin noggin off, so too his disguise.

Sneaky!

OK ladies,  those ThighMasters must really work. An Asian woman waltzed into a Doncaster shop in South Yorks and waddled out with a safe between her legs in a daring robbery. The CCTV shows 5 gang members distracting the staff while the woman enters a restricted area of the shop, changes out of her pants into a skirt and places the safe between her legs before struggling to walk out. The safe contained £30,000 in cash and gold jewelry.

Want sauce with that?