OK, here’s the thing gramps, don’t be shining no £8.45 torch at an RAF Apache helicopter gunship if you know what’s good for you. Torben Merriott was asleep with the pixies when he was suddenly woken by a god awful sound . The culprit was two helicopter gunships hovering 10ft above his garden in Stradbroke, Suffolk. Not a happy camper, he rang the Ministry of Defence complaint line. Hmm, shouldn’t have done that! Next thing he knows he is arrested on suspicion of endangering the copters by shining his torch at the pilot. That will get you a maximum of 2 years and a mention on my blog!