Rudolph, I can explain everything!
WTF, Santa is dead? Experts are claiming the body (that’s right, body) of St Nicholas is buried at Jerpoint Abbey in County Kilkenny. Geez, so who the hell is living at the North pole then? Evidently the whole Father Christmas thingy was inspired by St Nicholas of Myra, who was one very generous dude who lived in Turkey over 800 hundred years ago (So is that why we have Turkey for Chrissy? ). St Nick built his reputation around leaving anonymous gifts for the poor, thus his metamorphous to Father Christmas (who Coca Cola metamorphosed into Santa). Confusion over his where abouts after his death have led historians to believe his remains were buried in Turkey, Italy and now Ireland. So if this is true, what are you going to tell your little snowflakes now?
