Oh for crying out loud mister , if you are going to steal 4.2 gallons of honey, don’t be leaving your friggin slippers at the scene. Sheez, of course the police dog is gonna sniff you out. Didn’t help that you live in the same apartment building, now did it? Hmm, now it’s gonna be a bit awkward in the elevator!!!!
Psst Russia
Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never
Woohoo, thank you burglars!!!
OK, here’s the thing, if you continue to play your Yamaha 250 keyboard “like a cathedral” for your “own personal enjoyment,” expect it to be stolen by some “skinny white males,” one of whom was possibly missing teeth. The victim told police he believes the thieves probably targeted the keyboard because they got sick of hearing him play it. The only other thing taken was a Seiko watch.
Filed under Friggin Hilarious
Oh for the love of sex, stealing a police car for a quickie is going to get you a grand theft auto charge. Alexander Pratt and Clara Pearson were at a Florida convenience store when they noticed a Honda Civic left running by plainclothes detectives, so they hopped in and took off hoping to have sex in it. Unfortunately the randy pair were pulled over a short time later. Hmm, how frustrating!!!
Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!
Seriously, if you are going to steal an air conditioner, hot water heater , refrigerator and fan from some poor dude, don’t be going back the next day and stealing his friggin holiday parade float for goodness sakes, that’s just damn greedy. The trailer was about to be used for a holiday parade by the Circle of Friends Ministry. Anthony Wyatt from Florida told police he was selling the items for scrap.
Psst How did he steal a float and not be seen?
Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never
The first rule of stealing, don’t jokingly tell a woman you are going to break into her house and steal her TV, then actually do it! Seems you instantly become the go-to man for police! Authorities are still investigating
Filed under Whoops!
Oh for crying out loud, Lindsay Lohan just can’t seem to stay out of trouble. Damn silly billy has got herself a “felony grand theft” charge for allegedly nicking a $2,500 exclusive necklace from a Venice jewelry store. Sheez and she would have got away with it too if she hadn’t been friggin snapped by the paparazzi wearing the one off design. During the hearing Lindsay was warned not to contact the store during the case as the flowers she someone sent freaked them the hell out. If found guilty she could get up to 3 years in a state prison. Bail was set at $40,000. Boy, is she going to have something to tell the grandkids….oh wait, isn’t she a lesbian…ah never mind!
OK, here’s the thing purse snatcher. If you want some respect, don’t be leaving your slippers at the scene of the crime. Your friggin slippers for goodness sakes, have some pride man, at least dress before scaring the shit out of poor women. A 19 year old woman told police she was walking down a street in Youngstown when a man pulled up in a car and asked her for directions. After giving him assistance he jumped out of the car and grabbed her purse. But she wasn’t going to give up that easily and held on tight, resulting in both of them falling to the ground. He then grabbed the purse and drove off, leaving behind a pair of slippers.
Psst Hmm, sure his car didn’t turn back into a pumpkin?
Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never
Apparently the Robin Hood that lives in Denver isn’t related to the one of no fixed address in Sherwood Forest. No sirree and he doesn’t steal from the rich to give to the poor either. Robin Joshua Hood happened upon someone’s wallet lying on the street and began using the man’s identity to avoid being caught on a warrant. Damn fool couldn’t even outwit the sheriff … he was eventually busted trying to steal 6 caps from a store.
