Walk Carefully In Florida

A man in Florida has been busted for stealing 166 manhole covers. Dude? Evidently you can make quite a bit of money selling them for scrap but shhhh, you didn’t hear it from me.

Well, Isn’t That Ironic

Police in Louisville arrested a man they believe  stole a book about ETHICS and then tried to sell it at another bookstore.

Best Excuse Ever

Best excuse ever for why a 13 year old boy stole a AK-47. Hmm, because he was pretty sure his mom wouldn’t buy him one. OK, so how sure are you that your mom will post your bail for grand theft of a firearm, sonny? Evidently the kid swiped  the weapon from house that his mom had worked at as a housekeeper.

Pot Plant Fail

You know what I hate? When you get caught stealing  marijuana and it turns out to be a friggin tomato plant. I really hate that! The dumbass 15 year old, who was seen leaving the scene with the  plant,  later fessed to the cops  he thought it was a “pot” plant.

Parade Floats Are Great For Scrap

Seriously, if you are going to steal an air conditioner, hot water heater , refrigerator and fan from some poor dude, don’t be going back the next day and stealing his friggin holiday parade float for goodness sakes, that’s just damn greedy. The trailer was about to be used for a holiday parade by the Circle of Friends Ministry. Anthony Wyatt from Florida told police he was selling the items for scrap.

Psst How did he steal a float and not be seen?

So How Did You Find Out You Were Pregnant?

OK, here’s the thing women who steal a pregnancy test from a pharmacy, you might want to take it home rather than use it in the the pharmacy’s MALE toilets. The two woman got sprung when the pharmacist went to relieve himself and found them holding the pregnancy test. They took off when he went to check if they had paid for the kit. No word on whether it was positive because they took it with them, leaving only an empty dreams box.

Well This Stinks!

Attention people, police in Fort Pierce are looking for 2 women who stole 75 sticks of Gillette and Secret deodorants from Winn-Dixie. The women were caught on surveillance video loading their purses with the deodorants before walking out of the store and driving off in a minivan.If you know who they are… ah never mind! Care factor ZERO.

Psst Hmm, now if they stole 75 sticks of dynamite !!!!

Mean Girl

Oh for crying out loud, Lindsay Lohan just can’t seem to stay out of trouble. Damn silly billy has got herself a “felony grand theft” charge for allegedly nicking a $2,500 exclusive necklace from a Venice  jewelry store. Sheez and she would have got away with it too if she hadn’t been friggin snapped by the paparazzi wearing the one off design. During the hearing Lindsay was warned not to contact the store during the case as the flowers she someone sent  freaked them the hell out. If found guilty she could get up to 3 years in a state prison. Bail was set at $40,000.  Boy, is she going to have something to tell the grandkids….oh wait, isn’t she a lesbian…ah never mind!

Scouts Honor

You know what I hate? When a 35 year old Girl Scout leader takes $8,000 worth of cookies without paying. I really friggin hate that! Donna Waits admitted she bought 2,359 boxes from her daughter but never paid for them. She told police she had used the cookies to feed her family.

Close Shave For Disabled Barber

This is my good leg!

Jermaine Owens and Herbert Gary have both been charged with armed robbery, after it was alleged they held up a disabled barber. The Chicago barber, who has a missing leg and very limited use of his left arm, was grabbed while sitting in his car and then beaten by a 2-by-4.  The men then took off with his gold medallion, which had been around his neck. Several hours later the friggin attackers went to the barber’s house and threatened to burn it down if he so much as whispered anything to police. Hmm, he obviously did because they were caught.