Hello is this 911? I want to make a complaint about Subway. They damn made my flatbread pizza with marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce and they won’t give me no refund. Say What? You can’t charge me with misuse of the 911 system, or I’ll go and friggin ring investigators at Channel 9. Hello, is this Channel 9?
Psst The woman was arrested and charged.
A masked crusader in a green outfit with silver trims (aka a Power Ranger suit) has been roaming a Tokyo subway. Not to fight crime but to help the elderly and struggling passengers to get up and down the stairs. The man, who shall not be named, appears a few hours each day to unleash his good deeds because the train station doesn’t have any escalators or lifts just a dimly lit set of stairs. The reason he wears the mask is because Japanese people are relunctant to accept help (especially the elderly) because they end up feeling obliged to the other person. The superhero told the press it wasn’t always smooth sailing because people basically thought he was a nutter.
Psst By day he works at a greengrocers.
OK, here’s the thing dude who skipped paying the $2.25 fare on the subway in New York. Don’t be caught carrying a friggin loaded .40-caliber Smith & Wesson in your waistband because that’s like seven years in prison. Dude, you should have just coughed up the $2.25.
Who needs a gun to foil a robbery when you have a pot of soup. All hail the Subway worker in Illinois who threw a pot of soup over an armed robber (who was wearing a ghost mask). The dude exited stage left after the dunking without getting so much as a dime. I better it was CHICKEN soup!!!
Psst He could have whacked him with a foot long!!!
You know you suck at robbery when you have to ask a Subway cashier for a pen so you can write a hold up note.The dumbass then sat down in a booth , wrote his demands on a piece of paper and then waited for all the customers to leave. When he eventually handed the cashier the note she pressed the alarm button. You can pretty much guessed what happened from there. Such is the life of a crack addict.
Sheez, what's to eat?
OK, everybody’s feet down, the 3ft missing boa constrictor has been found in a Boston subway carriage. Penelope was discovered by a commuter after wandering off it’s owners shoulder about a month ago while they were commuting. Melissa Moorhouse, who owns the wayward snake, was thrilled to have her pet back. Good for you!
You know what I hate? When you are fast asleep on a subway and a rat runs up your leg and gives you a big sloppy went one on your face. I really hate that!
Psst I wonder if the homeless dude has an incredible voice?
No seriously people, how good are Subway sandwiches? A burglar broke into a Des Moines subway via a drive through window, made himself a sandwich or five and took a heap load of cookies but left without taking the money.