Top Santa Requests

Oh dear, how sad. A survey conducted this year at two British stores revealed the most common  requests made by children at Christmas  included  a new baby sibling or a father.

Not Tonight Dear I Fear A Fart Brewing

OK honey, I’m ready!!!!

Holy sex farts Batman. A recent survey in Sweden has revealed 1 in 3 women have at some stage refused to have sex because they feared a fart was a brewing. Hmm, men on the other hand weren’t so concerned with only 1 in 6 refusing due to gas.

Want sauce with that?

Step Away From BMW Drivers

Men who drive BMWs are more likely to cheat, so says a new UK survey. Of the 640,000 people polled 19.21% of males, who admitted to being a cheater, were BMW drivers.  This is followed closely behind by male Audi , Merc, Jaguar and Land Rover drivers. Hmm, so basically all rich middle aged men. Still no cure for cancer.

Psst Ladies, I suggest maybe hooking up with a Vespa driver. Safe as houses!

Compassionate Leave For Pets

A survey revealed that 74% of Pet owners in Queensland would like compassionate leave from work to mourn the death of their pets. Hmm, adds new meaning to “I’d kill to get a day off”…..where’s the cat?

Don’t Forget To Pack Your Teddy

Grow Up!

Oh for crying out loud, according to a recent survey it seems that 35% of adults in Britain still sleep with their teddy bears. Nearly half are men and one in ten single men will hide their bear from their girlfriends. Oh stop sniggering married men, 14% of you guys hide your teddy from family and friends. The average age of these teddies are 27 years old. Oh and did I happen to mention 25% of males participating in the survey said they took their teddy with them on business trips. Hmm, so the big question on everyone’s lips is …Do you sleep with your  teddy bear, Duncan?

Most Stupidest Comparison

New findings from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey  conclude that the number of American women who have been raped is greater than the number who are current smokers. Sheez,  I’ll remember that for trivial pursuit!

I Demand a Recount

Apparently, and I use the term loosely, women are worse at parking than men. I know, it must me wrong. It seems a third of all the women who failed their driving test last year did so because they sucked at parallel parking. One of the main excuses was that their breasts made it more difficut to turn around while parking. Fair call!

Clumsy Much?

Now here’s a statistic to ponder. Evidently over 5,000 US kids and teens fall out of windows each year and get seriously hurt. Oh and most of them are from first and second floor windows. Hmm, but what I really want to know is how many of them were pushed?

Want sauce with that?

Dump The Dumpling

Bring out the crackers and water ladies, seems half the men surveyed for  the Ask Men’s mag say they would dump their girlfriends in a heartbeat if they got fat. Egads! On the other hand only 20% of women said they would dump their boyfriends if  they became a porker!  Oh it doesn’t stop there, seems half the men surveyed believed they could tell if their woman faked an orgasm. Bwahahaha, silly, silly, delusional men!

Does A Bear Scratch in Cincinnati

Hmm, according to some friggin exterminator survey the US city most infested with bedbugs  is …..close your eyes Bearman…Cincinnati.  Itch much?

Psst Don’t forget to check out Bearman’s Charity Challenge. No silly, it’s not to raise money for a new mattress for Bearman (let him itch), its for people in need! Ca-ching, another 10 buckaroos thanks Bearman!!!

Wants sauce with that? Blahaha, note how the news article doesn’t even bother to use Cincinnati in it’s headline!