Pop Goes The Weasel

An attention seeking marten (a cross between a weasel and a wolverine) decided to wreak havoc on a football match in Sweden. He pretty much succeeded.

The Last Thing I Remember was Dusting the Dashboard

Holy Swedish meatball, Batman, a cleaning lady has managed to commandeered/steal a train and then crash it in to a house at the posh end of town. Ta-da. Swedish police are still unsure what the hell happened, whether she actually stole it or whether she had accidentally knocked a lever or two. Anywho, the train was going at about 50m/h (80km/h) when it flew off the rails, skidded across the snow and kaboomed straight into the first floor kitchen of a house. The cleaning lady is currently in hospital while  the train remains inside the house.

Just One More Reason to Hate the Dentist

A woman in Sweden had to have surgery to remove a friggin dentist’s drill from her lung after it became unattached during an implant procedure and she swallowed it . Yeah, but how did it fall into her lung, a horrified Loon wants to know?

Build It and We Will Come

It’s gonna be awesome

After some brainstorming, the locals at Langflon, Sweden, population 4, have decided on their latest project…. building a mega-mall. The wee little village, which only has a medium sized grocery store and 4 people living there, has become a food shopping mecca for their Norweigan neighbors due to the currency exchange rate. I’m guessing those 4 people are gonna be  uber rich,  unless of course the exchange rate changes.

Holy Bird Poop, Batman

What happens when you leave a hatch open for 30 years on a Swedish church tower?  You get two tonnes of pigeon poop that’s what!!!! Yep, for over three decades pigeons have been using the open hatch as a public toilet.  Bless!!

Skeleton Comes Out Of The Closet And Into The Bedroom

Seriously? A 37 year old Swedish woman has been charged after allegedly having sex with skeleton parts. Seems her house is full of body parts.. skulls, bones, spines. Police are not sure if she stole the bones from a morgue or she’s been grave digging. Photos of her kissing and licking the skulls and CDs on Necrophilia were also found in her house. She left this little gem on an  internet forum ‘It’s worth it. I want my man like he is, whether he is dead or alive. He allows me to find sexual happiness on the side.’

Psst Reminds me of a joke. How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes have piled up in the sink.

Notorious Serial Killer Lied

It was funny in the beginning …

What could possibly be worse than confessing to over 30 murders? Confessing 21 years later that you made it all up. Introducing Thomas Quick (real name Sture Bergwall), the man who until recently was considered one of Sweden’s worst serial killers. Quick has spent the last 21 years in a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane after he confessed to gruesomely murdering randoms across Scandinavia between 1964-1993.
The truth was only uncovered when a documentary maker, Hannes Råstam, began rummaging through thousands of court documents and discovered that there was no DNA evidence, murder weapons or eye witnesses to back up his story. When he later confronted Quick he fessed up. Quick told Råstam he had made the whole thing up because while in jail on an unrelated crime “I was a very lonely person when it all started ….and I noticed that the worse or more violent or serious the crime, the more interest someone got from the psychiatric personnel. I also wanted to belong to that group, to be an interesting person in here.”

Hmm, one flew over that cuckoo’s nest!!!

 

Mayor of Awesome

So you are a mayor in Sweden and you have $91,584 of taxpayers money to spend, what do you do? Well, you get an artist to paint a mural of you dressed as a Roman legionary that’s what! Now, now, to be fair  mayor Lars Ahlkvist also included  a local financier and his partner in the painting. The financier was depicted as Sweden’s King Karl XI and his squeeze a noble lady. Now, that is an awesome waste of taxpayers money. If I had a bucket load of taxpayers money to waste spend on public art I think I would create an enormous bronze pigeon with a public toilet on top so we could all poop on it!!!

Glass Blower Sweat Perfume

An American artist working in Sweden is hoping to collect the sweat from Swedish glass blowers to turn into perfume to sell to tourists. Good luck with that!

Want sauce with that?

Swedish Police In Search of Teddy Bear

Oh bless, why can’t more police be like Sweden’s? When an off duty Stockholm cop came across a Facebook post about a desperate mother’s plea to find her daughter’s missing Teddy bear he uploaded it onto the official police Facebook page. He asked that if anyone came across the Teddy to leave it at the nearest police station “so Tyra can see her friend again!” Despite the policeman’s good intentions some people have complained that it’s a waste of police resources. Hmm, they wouldn’t be bitching if it was a pedobear!!!!!