The Ninjas Did It

Telling people you were shot by  ninjas is no way to go through life son. The teen, who rocked up to hospital with a gunshot wound to his groin, originally told police he’d been shot by two men dressed as ninjas but when police found no evidence at the scene the kid confessed he had accidentally shot himself. Not cool to be telling that to your gang members.

Why Walk When You Can Steal a Bus?

OK here’s the thing Georgia teen who was just released from jail. Stealing a school bus to get home because you were too lazy tired to walk home is gonna get you right back to where you started … jail. Just saying.

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You’re So Grounded

Aw mom!!!

A 14 year old kid from Germany is in soooooooo much trouble after he pawned his mom’s jewelry, worth around $5,000 for about $500, so he and his mate could spend it on prostitutes. Hmm, they financed two trips to a brothel before his mother found out. Hell yes, she is pressing charges!!!! Police are also investigating the brothel for accepting clients under 18.

A Dingo Took My Sleeping Bag

I was cold!!!!

A teenage girl woke up to discover  she was being dragged  from her family caravan by a dingo. The dingo had latched onto her  sleeping bag and was pulling her into the night. Hmm, my advice is, sleep with one eye open and the caravan door closed when camping in the Northern Territory.

Psst Gee, if you thought Lindy had a hard time convincing people a dingo took her baby imagine this family…a dingo took my 13 year old and her sleeping bag!!!!

Arm Eating Alligator

A 17 year old swimming in the Florida’s Caloosahatchee River had his arm bitten off by a 3m alligator. Wildlife officers tracked down the beast, killed it and removed the teen’s arm in the hope it could be reattach but unfortunately, no.

Blackboard Jungle

Elementary School, dear Watson!

OMG, a band director accused of having sex with a 15 year old student in his office has the best defense EVER!!!!  A female guidance counselor testified in court that it was she and not a teen who had sex with him that day. Evidently she had given him a blowjob in his office at around the time of the alleged offense. Hmm, not once but twice!! That would have been soooooo awkward to admit in court!!!!  Hmm, so that would explain the semen on the desk and chair in his office, then? Sheez, there’s a lot of instruments being  blown at that school!!!!

Psst After the court appearance the guidance councilor went to the school board and resigned.

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I Just Wanted To Know How It Felt

The last thing you would be wondering when you are fifteen is what it feels like to kill, right?  Evidently not for Alyssa Bustamante, she’s pleaded guilty to murdering her 9 year old neighbor Elizabeth Olten in 2009. Bustamante from Missouri strangled, stabbed and then cut the girl’s throat because she wanted to know how it felt. She told the judge yesterday she was knew what she was doing when she murdered Elizabeth. Hmm, that was pretty evident by the fact Bustamante had dug a grave  a week before the killing, in preparation.

Psst If Bustamante hadn’t pleaded guilty and the case went to trial she could have been facing life in prison without the possibility of parole if convicted. This way she is facing 10-30 or life with the possibility of parole.

Can They Really Arrest You For That?

Luis, Luis Luis, how many times do you have to be told to clean your friggin room before your mom rings the Stamford police huh? Oh for crying out loud how old are you? 18!!!! Luis Perez’s mom had had quite enough of her son when she came home from work and found the house in a mess so she called the cops.  When the cops arrived the teen refused to come out from under his blanket in his bedroom and put some pants on, declaring it was an invasion of his privacy and “he has rights”. When Luis continued to be uncooperative and hostile towards his mother the cops whacked him in handcuffs and escorted him out of the house. He is currently waiting for his mom to cough up $5,000 bond so he can get out of jail.

Psst Sometimes it would be great to be a cop!

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Teen Uses Courts To Stop Arranged Marriage

Bravo young lady. A 16 year old girl in Australia secretly snuck off to court and begged to be placed on an airport watch list because her parents were planning to take her to Lebanon for an arranged marriage. The terrified teen not only didn’t want to get married to a man she had met once but was also scared senseless of her parents finding out she had taken legal action. The judge has now ordered the parents to surrender her passport and  not to harass, threaten or intimidate her.

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Good To Know Minneapolis

And the quote of the week goes to a Minneapolis police spokesman who had this to say following the shooting of a teen in the chest while riding his bike.

“There are a number of kids who walk or ride their bikes through north Minneapolis who do not get shot,”