Joan Rivers was arrested in the UK after being mistaken for an illegal immigrant. Balaclava-clad UK Border Agency officials swooped on the comedian, her daughter and film crew who were enjoying a fishing trip off the coast of Kent, after they suspected they were trying to enter Britain illegally.
A word of warning to those of you who like sexting. Be very careful not to fat finger it to everyone in your phone address book, because that’s a jailing right there. A swimming coach in the UK found himself facing 18 months jail after he inadvertently sent a message, intended for his girlfriend (asking for sex “skin on skin”), to everyone on his Blackberry smartphone including family, friends and two girls aged 13 and 14. The fact he sent the message to two minors saw him face court, as it wasn’t clear who the message was intended for. Luckily for him he was granted an appeal and the judge suspended his sentence .
Oh my, an Amusement Park in the UK, has decided to breathalyser all riders after an increase in upchucking. Wait for these frightening stats. Evidently in the past 7 days there has been a 250% increase in rides being shutdown due to projectile vomit incidents (mainly from drunk or hungover students). Dear lord, pass me the gloves and a bucket of sand. Gross.
A 13 year old boy who became obsessed with surfing the net looking for porn has found himself on the sex offender register. Hmm well son, did no one tell you kiddy porn is wrong?
Want sauce with that?
Just a house warming present
Guess who wants to come and live in England with her five kids and meet the Royal family? Amal Abdulfattah al-Sadah, that’s who! Come on, you know her loons, think? It’s Osama Bin Laden’s missus, the one that took a bullet trying to save him from the navy seals. She’s been booted out of Pakistan and wants to claim asylum in Britain because basically the rest of the world don’t want her. Her brother said “She wants to live a peaceful life now. I will convince Amal that she must stop contacts with al-Qaeda.” A cup of tea, love?
Want sauce with that?
Oh no, a UK family is understandably distraught after the body of David Gardner was allegedly left to rot on a table in a hospital morgue for nearly a week because it was too large to fit into a mortuary fridge. The family were unable to say their goodbyes as the body had decomposed prior to the funeral . An investigation is currently underway.
Egads, step way from the Loyd Grossman Korma sauce people, it contains botulism. Two children are currently in a UK hospital being treated for the nasty bacteria after eating mom’s meal.
When you are on holidays in the UK and get trapped by the incoming sea while photographing sea anemones and you don’t know Britain’s emergency help number, what do you do people, what do you do? Well, if you’re American marine biologist Liz Francis you ring 911 in the US and get the dispatcher to put you through to the UK police who then organized a rescue team. Ta-da!
Psst OK US dispatchers, expect to be getting a bucket load of nuisance calls from overseas now!