Chicken Sitting Service Anyone?

Hey, hey, hey, break it up guys

If you want someone to sit your chickens, there is a woman in Oregon who’ll do it. Yep, she has already had 20 offers after she advertised her “chicken sitting” services on flyers around town. The idea sprung into her head after she was employed to look after 200 of her friends feathered friends.

Swan Lake Fail

A woman who drove off a road , through a backyard onto an icy lake and past a bevy of swans told police when she realized she wasn’t on the road anymore she tried driving across the lake. Her semi submerged car was eventually pulled from the water.

Psst OK, I’m going for a blonde using iPhone maps.

Want sauce with that?

The Woman is Nuts

Hey, what the …

A woman has been arrested for allegedly running up and down a street and kicking people in the genitals. Sheez, that has gotta hurt.

Psst Florida

We Can Pee, But Just Not That Good

The president of the Family Research Council believes women shouldn’t be allowed in combat because they can’t pee outdoors. Oh for crying out loud, sure it may run down the leg a bit, but pooping ain’t a problem. Check out all the other awesome reasons ….

Want sauce with that?

Random Steals India’s Spotlight

I noticed the random walking proudly next to the befuddled Indian athletes  as they entered the stadium  and thought “Wow, their women’s uniforms are crap.” Hmm, seems the gatecrasher was suppose to be a dancer in the earlier part of the opening but thought she ‘d have better luck being noticed by security breaching. Hmm, nice to know the British security is on the ball.

Could I Have A Second Opinion?

Man goes to hospital for kidney stones, man told he’s a woman. Hmm, now all he has to do is break that to his wife and six kids.

Want sauce with that?

That Would Be Mrs Ripper To You

Just when you thought the Jack the Ripper story couldn’t get anymore weird a British author is now claiming the infamous murderer may have been Lizzie the Ripper. John Morris believes Lizzie Williams, the wife of the royal physician Sir John Williams (also a suspect), killed the women because she couldn’t have kids. Three of the victims had their wombs cut out for starters. Anywho, he’s written a book entitled Jack The Ripper: The Hand Of A Woman which he says will leave no doubt in the readers mind, it was a friggin night prowling, psycho woman.

It Always Ends In Tears

If you happen to be on the Caribbean island of Saint Martin and are bored senseless, you can always head to Maho Beach and jet blown away by airplane jet streams. You just gotta be careful of concrete walls.  JetBlue 1, girl 0

 

Where Does A Woman Pee In The Woods?

Here’s a tip ladies , if you are drunk and lost in the woods, don’t be ringing 911 and asking them where you can take a pee, especially if the cops follow up on the call and find you at home, drunk as a skunk, drinking a beer. That’s an arrest right there. Oh and about that vial of meth residue they found on you, that’s another charge . Sheez, should have just peed anywhere!!!!

Just Stare At The Red Dot

OK loons, check this out. Stare at the red dot on the woman’s nose for about 30 secs, then stare at a wall and blink really fast. Viola.