When you have been terrorised by a deadly Eastern brown snake for 6 months but can’t find his hide out, what do you do? Well in Oz you get yourself a jackhammer and you jackhammer the crap out of the surrounding paths looking for its bunker…or alterantively just pack up and leave. The deadly repitilewas eventually found after the family crushed their concrete slabs around the house. Once found a snake catcher released the angry beast in nearby bushes. OK loons, you know what that means! Sleep with one eye open family, that snake is going to be right back and more pissed than ever. Good luck with that.
There is a reason why you rotate food on shelves. A man bought a box of Quaker Granola cereal from a Walmart. No biggie …except for the friggin expiry date… Feb 22, 1997. Oh lord, the box had been sitting on the shelf for 21 years. The guy claims he ate the entire box despite it not tasting so good. Golly.
PSST What that box must have seen in Walmart!
Apparently Amelia Earhart has been found…well sort of. A US scientist is 99% certain that the bones found on Howland Island in the 1940s were that of the lost aviator. Problem is, the bones have been lost. But never let that get in the way of a good story. The scientist has the original bone measurements (pre lost) and from those measurements he has estimated the size of Amelia’s bones against photographs … and they apparently match. Not very convincing if you ask me. The theory is Amelia crashed on the island and lived as a castaway before succumbing to the elements.
PSST You might want to keep looking…just saying.
Move over Superman, there is a new superhero in Australia. Faster than a speeding car, more powerful than a full strength, able to leap tall curbs in a single bound…it’s Demerit Man. Disguised as the mild mannered bogan of Tamworth, the dude wearing a VB beer carton on his head, covers the speed camera with a tea towel, saving the unsuspecting motorists from a certain fine. Well done Demerit Man. Thank you for using your amazing powers in a never ending battle for truth and justice.
Put your spoons down loons and walk away from your Cornflakes…NOW. Apparently the crunchy little flakes were created by Mr Kellogg to stop masturbation. I know , right! It was marketed as “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Mr Kellogg, who was a Seventh-day Adventist believed that sex damaged the mind and soul, thus poor Mrs Kellogg was exiled to a separate bedroom. I bet she became one Frosted Flake. They never consummated their marriage, choosing to adopt their children. Hmm, sounds like a Cocoa Puff.
He even wrote in one of his books that masturbation caused mood swings, bad posture, acne, epilepsy, palpitations and a fondness for spicy food. OK, boom, there it is…Fruit Loop.
Stop worrying emoji users the lobster has been corrected. Yes, the right number of legs have now been added….sheez, tough crowd.
PSST: Still no cure for cancer!
Conspiracy Theorists don your deerstalkers we have a mystery. Seems there is a Boeing 737 plane sitting in a gated and guarded property on the Bukit Penisula in Bali, Indonesia. No one seems to know how it got there or even when. It is in a little quarry just minding its own beeswax. Thought loons?