Slow and Steady

Blahahahahahah stop looking people. The giant tortoise that has been missing from a Japanese zoo for two weeks has been found …. 164 feet (50 meters)  away!!! Look hard much? The $4,500 reward money was given to a father and son who found Abu near the zoo entrance.

About Friggin Time

So loons, it seems the only way to get a lifetime bus pass in Florida is turn 103. A 103 year old granny, who is a frequent bus catcher, was presented with the pass on her birthday. Now she can go to and fro from church free. When she was presented with the pass by the transit authority she responded “It means everything to me. Look at how much I can save,” . Am I the only one eye rolling?

Sorry Sir They Don’t Exist

A man in Iowa tried to deposit a $1 million bill into his bank account.  Needless to say the bank rang the cops who asked him if he has any more million dollar bills and low and behold a baggie of meth fell from his pocket. Naw, bless. I wonder whose face he drew on the bill?

PSST  I wonder what he exchanged for the bill? He is going to be right pissed when the fog lifts!

Going, Going, Gone

A Woman is friggin lucky to be alive after she and her car plunged 7 storeys from a parking garage. Whoopsie daisy. They do it big in Texas.

Not Just Nuts

Squirrel be like WTF. A intsy weensy Canadian squirrel managed to destroy 20,000 gallons of milk at a cheese factory. Evidently he chewed through a wire that happened to be attached to a piece of machinery and well you can guess the rest. Naughty squirrel.

Doggone it Dad

An Australia golden retriever wasn’t about to go anywhere when there were so many more trees to sniff…

Chariots of Hell Fire

Putney police want to have a few words with a jogger who appeared to push a woman in front of a bus.