It Was Always Only Going to be a Matter of Time

The little Dutch town of Jelsum, that installed the world’s first musical road, want it removed.  Yep, messing with their heads. The tune is played when cars drive over the strategically placed strips on the side of the road. Their song of choice was the anthem of Friesland. The locals are now bitching that the song is constantly playing day and night.

What to Do?

Australia just had the Commonwealth Games, kind of like beginners Olympics without most of the high ranking countries. I like to call it an Interschool carnival. Anywho, during the marathon, a Welsh runner, who had been leading for most of the event, collapsed from heat exhaustion. You would think with 2km to go and looking completely done someone, anyone, would help him. Apparently no. Seems you can’t touch an athlete during the race or they are instantly disqualified. Hmm, seriously, I don’t think he was going anywhere. It’s ironic because if someone did help him it would be all about the idiot who helped him and he got disqualified.

Doggone

Holy Hannibal Lector, a man in South Korea was so pissed at his neighbour’s barking dog he killed it. That is when he went all Chianti. Yep, he cooked the two year old corgi up and invited his neighbour over for a meal. Sheez, I hope he didn’t get a doggie bag!

Who Do You think Are The World’s Most Admired Man and Woman?

Well, according to YouGov (a market research company in London) it’s Bill Gates and Angelina Jolie. Blahahahahahahahahahaha. Not even on my radar. Seriously!!!!!

PSST: I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

How To Make a Cupcake Taste So Much Better

Here’s the thing loons, if you are standing in line at a bakery and overhear someone behind you say ‘let’s hope this fat bitch doesn’t buy all the cupcakes’. What do you do loons, what do you do?  Well, you buy every goddam cupcake in the store, that is what. Well played.

What Goes Up

Oh for the love of all things flat. A 61-year-old man built himself a steam-powered rocket so he could propel himself into the air to prove the Earth is flat. I know, I am still shaking my head too. Looking like Wile E. Coyote, mad Mike launched himself at about 350mph into the air to 1,875 feet before landing really, really hard in the Mojave Desert. Fortunately, he did have a parachute and a backup chute so despite the thud landing he only suffered minor injuries. Mike said ‘My story really is incredible,’ ‘It’s got a bunch of storylines – the garage-built thing. I’m an older guy. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, plus the Flat Earth. The problem is it brings out all the nuts also, people questioning everything. It’s the downside of all this.’

Blahahahah it brings out all the nut? Really?

PSST Mike still believes the world is flat.

 

Beached As Bro

An Aussie tradie scored one for the team when he accidentally dug through the Pacific internet cable causing widespread outages in New Zealand, Vanuatu, Fiji, Tonga and Samoa. Whoopsie. Vocus internet provider was down and out for 10 hours. The tradie was digging a bore when he severed ties with New Zealand.