Loon in Sydney

Short break in transmission. The loon is in Sydney….back Monday.

IOU

If you were getting money out of an ATM and a note reading “Please help me I am stuck inside the machine” came out the receipt slot what would you do? Well if you were in Texas, you would ignore it. Some poor ATM repair man was frantically writing notes after accidentally locking himself inside the machine but people were ignoring them because they thought it was some sort of prank.

I’ll Drink To That

A dude flying from Melbourne to Perth checked in his luggage…one can of Emu Export beer. Unsure if his precious cargo would arrive he was delighted when he made his way to the luggage claim and saw people laughing and taking out their phones.  He later told reporters …“Sure enough there she was, alone on the carousel proudly making her way around. And there I was in my flanno and RMs to greet her. It was perfection.”

Rain On Your Parade

You have a brilliant start up idea. You get investors to fork out nearly $2 million. You launch in April. Within two months you have it rolled out to 11 major cities in China. What could possibly go wrong? Well, if you have a Chinese umbrella sharing rental business and it buckets down for days, don’t expect them returned anytime soon. Yep, after a fortnight 300,000 umbrellas were stolen. The big flaw in their E Umbrella idea…..they didn’t include a charge fee for failure to return the umbrellas. Back to the drawing board.

For Better or for Worse

When you have 6 outstanding warrants and you are handcuffed and about to be carted away by police what is the first thing you should do is? Hmm, well for an Oklahoma man it was to ask his “Momma”  if it was OK to propose to his girlfriend.  With his Momma’s blessing he got down on one knee and asked his girlfriend to marry him. The cop’s response…”Are you kidding me?”  Unfortunately he had his hands cuffed behind his back so he couldn’t give her the ring. But the kindhearted cops recuffed him so he could at least do something right. Bless.

The Bulge and the Beautiful

The “Unmissable” Ireland indeed. This is  what happens when you get the star of Fifty Shades of Grey to promote Ireland. Not a soul looking at the stunning scenery…nope, they all are staring at the bulge in  Jamie Dornan’s pants. Settle loons, apparently it was a golf ball.

One hump or two?

Oh for the love of humps, the West Australian dairy industry is introducing camel milk to the mix.  Camel milk has three times more vitamin C and half the saturated fat of cow’s milk. One small catch…it currently costs $25 a litre.

PSST That is going to be a bitch to milk. Camels are not the most docile of the spitting creatures.