A Win For The Donkeys

Apparently, the Greeks have had enough of fat arses on their asses. Yes, the poor Santorini donkeys of Greece are no longer going to have to haul fat tourists around the island. They are banning them…fat tourists, not the donkeys. Fact. If you weigh over 100kg you can’t get on a donkey. It is now law.

Rogue Possum

This is one of the few animals in Australia that won’t kill you. And by that I mean, the Brushtail possum may pee, bite and scratch your eyes out, but it won’t kill you. This possum took a liking to our bread and decided to help itself.

Mind The Gap

A Russian law student has had it with men manspreading on trains and has taken action into her own hands. Armed with a bottle of water mixed with bleach she is “spray crotching” offenders. Yes, you heard me, she is walking up and down aisles of trains and splashing any man who dares spread his legs to an unacceptable width in the crotch. The mixture is guaranteed to leave the area in question bleached. Manspread shaming has just been taken to a new level. So far no one has reported her because let’s face it, who is going to go to the police?

Strawberry Terrorism

Currently, Australia is in a state of emergency over strawberries. Someone (or a group) has been placing needles and pins in strawberries throughout Australia. It started with one person swallowing a sewing needle and from there it has escalated. Police aren’t sure if it is copycat behaviour but there have now been needles found in strawberries everywhere. Initial panic has resulted in strawberry farmers having to dump their stock. So sad, considering farmers are doing it tough of late. Authorities have no idea at what stage the needles were inserted into the fruit.  It seems all strawberry farmers across Australia have been affected so I am guessing it is happening after the fruit has left the farms. Hopefully, the social media campaign underway to encourage people to buy, buy, buy, will counteract these lowlife scums . We won’t be held to ransom by strawberry terrorists.

PSST I wonder if this is just a case of sour grapes? (pun intended)

 

Bunker Down

To all those riding out Hurricane Florence, stay safe. A big shout out to OCD Blogger Girl who is bunkering down in Wilmington. Please remember that some people simply can’t up and leave due to all sorts of reasons. To those, I send thoughts and prayers.

In space, no one can hear you scream

The Russian Space Agency is freaking out after they discovered a 2mm hole in the venting system of one of their Space Crafts. Alarms were raised when the cabin pressure began to slowly drop. All on board were ordered to look for the cause. The hole was discovered near the toilet covered by a flap. Initially, it was thought the hole was made by a tiny meteorite but when they studied the hole they changed their tune, believing it was deliberately made. The hole was too neat and consistent with being made by a drill. Plus it was made from the inside, not the outside. There are several theories to this potentially Tom Hanks starring drama, 1) it was a poorly patched up mistake made by a contractor 2) it was made by a homesick astronaut hoping to return to Earth early or 3. SABOTAGE. Luckily they had some epoxy resin because apparently duct tape is useless in space.

Breaking Bad

If only they used their powers for good. A couple in the US turned the kitchen window of their mobile home into a drive-thru window for drugs. Genius. They even had an open/closed sign for convenience. They figured a drive-thru wouldn’t draw as much attention as foot traffic. Unfortunately, their idea came to a grinding halt after police started investigating numerous overdoses in the area. Seems the drugs were allegedly laced with fentanyl. Doh!