Oh My Lord

A woman in Uganda has been told to stop having children by doctors. Reason? She has given birth to 38 of them. Yep, 38 children by the time she was 36. That is like IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII III. That is a friggin long line to use the bathroom. Ms. Nabatanzi would have had 44 but sadly she lost 8 at childbirth. Recently her hubby up and left, leaving her to support her enormous brood alone. The older children all chip in to help but she struggles every day to put food on the table. Authorities have now banned her from having any more.

PSST: How does she remember their names? There must be a whole lot of “hey you”.

Jack Ruby Rang

Oh for the love of WTF. The death of Jeffrey Epstein is appalling as it is friggin suspicious. JFK would be rolling in his grave! I have been following this trainwreck for years and I must say was blindsided by the “apparent” suicide. With a list as long as your arm of people who wanted him gone,  I must say I am struggling to pinpoint the main suspects. I assume there must be several to muddy the waters and make it impossible to prove. I would be looking for cryptocurrency exchanges for starters.

Not only is the death in Federal custody appalling, but it also sends a clear and subtle message to the brave women who have fought long and hard to expose these creeps…there is nowhere to hide.

 

 

 

 

 

Throw Your Daughter Under The Bus

For goodness sakes, if you are going to try an elaborate prison break, act the part (and don’t throw your daughter under a bus). A Brazilian gang leader attempted an escape by dressing up as his daughter who was visiting him in prison. His daughter smuggled in a silicon mask, long-haired wig, skinny jeans and a pink tee. The daring plan nearly worked but unfortunately, the gang leader began acting nervous. Hmm, maybe those skinny jeans were too tight. Anywho, he was sprung and the daughter, who was left in his place, was arrested. Now Mr smarty-pants has been transferred to max-security prison and will probably be taunted for the rest of his life.

Sprinkle 1, Players 0

Naw Wimbledon…game, set and match.

Happy 4th of July

OK, fine, I am a little late but anywho, HAPPY 4th of July from Down Under.

Jadugar Mandrake Disappearing Act

OK loons, one more time. If you proclaim to be able to get out of a cage after being lowered into a river, you better have a foolproof escape plan. An Indian magician is missing after having been lowered in the Ganges (that alone could kill him) and failed resurfaced. Jadugar Mandrake was tied up with rope and chains inside a cage that was lowered (by a crane) into the murky waters of India’s most infamous river. Family, friends, media and spectators waited in anticipation of seeing the magician emerge but alas after minutes ticked by panic set in. Authorities have yet to find the cage or the magician following an extensive search.

Jadugar Mandrake attempted a similar stunt a few years back but it failed dismally after onlookers could clearly see a fake door in the cage. He was mocked and attacked by angry onlookers.

If by some miracle he is found alive, I think he should seriously consider a different occupation.

Pretty in Pink

Heavens to Murgatroyd, a town in Ohio (friggin home of Bearman) has pink water coming out of the faucets. Apparently, the bright colour is due to a malfunction at the water treatment plant. Whoopsie, too much sodium permanganate. My bad?

Despite the scary colour, authorities have announced, “the chemical is not dangerous if ingested, but it could dye clothes washed in affected water.” You know what, I would be stepping away from the taps, shower, dishwasher and washing machine and taking a nice vacation or alternatively give Erin Brockovich a buzz.

PSST If you really want to worry just Google “Is sodium permanganate dangerous?”