It’s About To Blow

If you happen to be in Bali at the moment, you might want to look out your window. The volcano is about to blow. No one is quite sure what will happen but a 12km evacuation zone has been ordered. Mount Agung hasn’t popped its top for over 60 years  but all indications are it’s about to. So far over 200,000 people have been evacuated from the danger zone but the bigger problem is how to get off the island. If Agung sends clouds of ash into the air there won’t be any planes allowed to land or depart.  Might want to stock up on Bintang….just saying.

Rattlesnake 1, Human 0

One more time people, just leave wildlife alone. A man in Arizona decided it would be a hoot to throw a rattlesnake on the BBQ during a children’s party. Show the little snowflakes how a snake sizzles. The rattler had just slithered into the yard  when the guy grabbed it by the head but as luck would have it he lost his grip and the angry snake bit him on the face and chest. Luckily a hospital was nearby. He was sedated for 5 days until the swelling went down. Still no word on the snake. Probably gloating with his mates in the Rattler’s nest.

Run Pooper, Run

What is up with the mystery jogger that likes to take a crap on people’s lawn. So random, so disgusting, so grrr. The unidentified culprit is a female who drops her load before jogging away. She even brings her own toilet paper and leaves that too. So mortified is one resident she has posted messages around the neighbourhood…“To the female jogger that continuously uses of walkway as her toilet: Please stop immediately! You have already exposed yourself to our children and the police have been contacted twice,”
Evidently there is a public toilet directly across from her dump site.

Worse Than a Mogwai

Holy feral goldfish Batman. Just when you thought Australia’s wildlife couldn’t get more freakier, lets introduce the feral goldfish. Estuaries in Western Australia are being invades by goldfish the size of  footballs. Evidently the problem is due to people flushing unwanted pets down the loo.  Seems the usually freshwater fish have morphed to adapt to the saltier water (and are loving it).  As a result they are chewing up vegetation and feeding on the native fish’ eggs.  See ya eco system. Who knew goldfish out of their bowls could be such pests.

Can’t Be Unseen

Oh tsk, tsk Chesterfield. What was meant to be a lovely floral tribute to the 20th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death has turned into an epic fail. Social media just lost it’s mind over the ancient Derbyshire tradition of using flowers and natural materials to make a collage. One twitter user wrote “Nice use of weetabix for her teeth.” You be the judge Loons…

It’s BACK

A few years back I posted about a fatberg  that was blocking the London sewers. Well, it is back and it is grosser and slimier and fatter than ever. It is so big they have brought in engineers to work out how to remove it. The 250m long 130 tonne of  fat is comprised of wet wipes, nappies, oil and condoms. It may take over a month to move the mammoth monster fatberg as it has set hard. Pity the fool that has to chisel away at that.

Worst Type of Gold Digger

I truly hope this is fake news. Two gold prospectors walked into a bar in Brazil and bragged that they had killed at least 10 members of a remote Amazonian tribe. The indigenous tribe, known as the Uncontacted, had been gathering eggs along the river bank. The men told how they had hacked them up and thrown them into the river. Despite no deaths having been reported (hmm, ironic as they have no contact with outside world) the men have been detained.

As more land is being cleared on the Peruvian and Brazilian borders , some ruthless prospectors and miners are determined to kill off these indigenous tribes. Seriously, humanity has gone to hell in a handbag.