Hmm, with all the QANTAS drama going on lately, I thought to myself what would Raymond Babbitt do? Write a list and retain it to memory, that’s what. So, well here goes.
Rainman’s QANTAS Drama List For 2008
January 7th : A Qantas Boeing 747-400 suddenly loses power on approach to Bangkok. Thank goodness for those damn back up batteries.
February 20th : A Qantas Boeing 747’s landing gear fails on a flight from Gladstone to Rockhampton.Passengers were entertained by an hours worth of circling before crew were able to manually kick the damn gear into place.
March 25th : A Qantas Boeing 747 was forced to abort a takeoff at Los Angeles after a warning light started flashing in the cockpit.They blew three tyres for its troubles and scared the crap out of 232 passengers.
July 25th : A Qantas 747-400 was forced to make an emergency landing at Manila airport after a mid-air explosion tore a friggin 9ft hole out of the side of the plane . 350 passengers thought they were goners, especially when many of the oxygen masks failed to work. Ironically it was an oxygen cylinder that took all the blame for the incident.
July 28th : A Qantas Boeing 737-800 returned to Adelaide after a landing gear door had failed to retract.Passengers were heard muttering they’d rather take a bus after catch a second plane.
August 2nd : A Qantas Boeing 767-300 bound for the Philippines returned to Sydney after a reported hydraulic fluid leak.
October 7th : Perth-bound A330 jet plunges unexpectedly over the West Australian coast injuring 70 passengers and scaring the hell out of 303 passengers. Originally it was though the incident was due to a passenger using a laptop computer but blame is being pointed at the secret Harold Holt Base located near where the plane plummeted.
October 28th : Boeing 767 from Melbourne to Sydney had to return to the airport after that damn landing gear fault light came on in the cockpit!
October 30th : Boeing 747-400 flying from LA to Australia loses its weather radar and is guided over the Pacific by an Air New Zealand plane whilst providing information from its own radar system throughout the journey. Bless them Kiwis.
November 18th : Hmm, didn’t even have to leave the ground for this one. Two Qantas jumbos Boeing 747’s collided during maintenance. Oh and one of them happened to be the plane involved in July 25ths exploding gas cylinder incident. Goodbye nose cone on one and goodbye wing tip on the other.
November 22nd : Christchurch-bound Qantas 747-300 plane had to abort minutes before takeoff when an engineer noticed wing damage (thank goodness someone was on the ball!). Don;t these planes have warning devices ? It was probably the plane from the last incident!
November 28th : Airbus A330 heading from Perth to Singapore forced to return when when an engine oil warning light flashed in the cockpit. Some idiot hadn’t put oil into the motor after its recent service in Hong Kong. Hmm, not to worry it only ripped off the starter motor and had to fly on one engine.
December 27th : The Airbus A330 autopilot suddenly disconnected whilst flying over the north west of Western Australia forcing the plane to return to Perth. Hmm, seems like that secret US base was at it again!