Lets hope this isn’t the newest craze to hit Japan. Manabu Mizuta has just been arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a Japanese express train. His reason “I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs,”.He would creep up on unsuspecting women passengers and then pour some of the wriggling worms out on the floor right next to them (I suppose it is better than being train molested?). All up Mr Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3600 worms (ewh gross). Over 18 similar cases of worms being released on trains on the Keihan line in Osaka prefecture have been reported to local police. My question is, where the hell did he find the worms in the first place?
Monthly Archives: November 2008
Everyone is breathing a little easier in the small town of Valentine, Nebraska, now that the Butt Bandit has finally been caught.Hmm,for over a year Thomas Larvie has been terrorizing and amusing the locals by leaving his graphic naked rear end and groin marks on glass windows around town. It seems the Butt Bandit loved nothing better than coating his arse or groin with Vaseline or lotion and then leaning up against churches, schools and shop fronts, leaving his unpleasant little grease mark. The unnamed 35 year old was caught with his pants down in the early hours of the morning. So far no charges have been filed against him.Valentine Police Chief Ben McBride called it “the weirdest case I’ve ever seen.” (ya think!).
UPDATE : Mr Thomas Larvie has been given 13 months for public indecency. Better hang on tight to the Vaseline now!
Ah,like Braveheart, Paul Steele is proud of his heritage, that’s why he has a Saltire Scottish Flag as his curtain (well instead of one) in East Wemyss, a small English village. But the Fife Council thinks it’s racist and want it removed. What’s a man with a Saltire to do ? Bruce Combes from Fife Council’s customer services department did an inspection of his living room where the offending flag hangs and requested it be removed, despite a tricolour flag flying in his son’s window (that, it appears, isn’t racists). In all fairness the council says “It was not because we considered the flag racist.We have had complaints about this property — including the flag and its prominence.” Hmm
Are you friggin kidding me? Andy Parks (aka Mr Christmas) has been celebrating Christmas every friggin day for the past 14 friggin years. Get a life my friend! The electrician discovered the joys of Christmas in 1994 when he found hanging up Christmas decorations stopped him feeling bored and fed up (get a goddam puppy?). OK everyday for 14 years this is how Mr friggin Christmas’ life unravels…he starts off by getting stuck into seven or eight mince pies and glass of sherry for breakie, he then unwraps his presents (which he bought and wrapped himself), then at lunch he has all the trimming plus champagne, finally as night falls he carves the Christmas turkey. Whoops, I nearly forgot, somewhere in between all the other celebrations he will sit down and watch the Queen’s Christmas friggin speech for the umpteenth time and open the Christmas cards he sent himself. Mr Parks says “People do think I’m crackers, but I enjoy treating myself and I’m the only one in the world who does it,” too right. It all just sounds like one stressful nightmare. Sadly the 44-year-old Christmasholic from Melksham, Wiltshire, has had to cut back on his festive expenditure as the world financial crisis affects his £150 a week habit (welcome back to the real world). He now buys a 9lb turkey instead of his usual 14lb one, he personally delivers his Chrissy cards instead of posting them, and he now only has one Christmas tree instead of two. It’s all kinda sad really! Merry Christmas Mr Parks.
Since when has farting been a crime? Seems in Florida if you are 12 years old, disruptive and continue to fart deliberately in school it is! A Florida student has been dragged kicking and farting out of a classroom after running a muck, turning off computers and deliberately passing gas. Police were called to Florida’s Stuart’s Spectrum High School to arrest the 150cm stinker after a complaint by his teacher D.C. Carden. Gosh and to think if there was a machete wielding ninja on the rampage in my neighborhood the police wouldn’t be remotely interested. But back to our little farter. Due to his age his named can’t be released but his mommy collected him from the County Sheriff’s Office after he confessed to all offences. No word on whether the farts were noisy, smelly or both! Wanna see the fart wrap sheet? It is right here on Smoking Gun (ironic really).
It’s the season to be hiding, falalalala. Four illegal immigrants have been found hiding in a Christmas tree bound for the Northampton town centre in England. Yep, the stowaways two from Iraq and two from Iran were found amongst the branches of a 32 ft aluminum and nylon tree (and they say Christmas is too exclusionary). Nothing says Christmas like an Iraqi bauble! This follows a separate incident where a group of Iraqi illegals were found in a truck full of ham. These guys are getting a far too clever and desperate, hiding in places even Allah wouldn’t approve.
Nothing like Barry Manilow to stop repeat offenders playing loud music. Judge Paul Sacco has got a wicked sense of humor. When teenagers front him in court for playing loud music, they usually end up in the music room from hell. Yep, they get an hours worth of Barry Manilow, Barney (purple friggin dino) and the Platters to teach them a lesson. Judge Sacco said “These people should have to listen to music they don’t like,”.So far so good, the small rural town of Fort Lupton is as quiet as a church mouse.I am sure they used Manilow music in conjunction with waterboarding at Guantanamo! Don’t quote me on that, could have been Billy Ray! I do know that Bazza is filtered through PA systems in shopping centers in Australia to stop teenagers loitering in the malls. Barry Manilow is a one hell of a lethal weapon.