Monthly Archives: February 2009

Friggin Metal Objects

Honey, did you hear something?

Honey, did you hear something?

OK, it is bad enough when a friggin piece of metal falls from the sky and tears a hole through your roof and second floor, but when they test it for radioactive, that’s a worry! Hmm, lucky for the Dallas house owners they won’t have to go through a Silkwood shower but they now they have a skylight they never really wanted. OK, so if you happen to be missing a 6lb chunk of metal with two drill holes in it from your airplane, satellite or spaceship there are some people in Dallas who want to have a little chat with ya! Gosh, I hope it wasn’t George W. practising his hardware skills?

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Filed under Whoops!

Hooray For Hollywood

Slumdog destitutes

Slumdog destitutes

Remember those cheeky little kids at the Oscars? You know, the urchins from Slumdog Millionaire. Hmm, well it seems they really are slumdogging it. Despite the fact that Rubina Ali and Azharuddin Ismail were flown all the way from India to Hollywood to be at the Oscar night, lavished with gifts and even bused off to Disneyland, the two live in squallor (typical). Rubina is living in a one room shack with her family while Azharuddin, until recently, lived with his family under a tarpaulin by a friggin busy road. Nothing like passing the child actor curse to India! Gee , imagine if instead of spending all that money on showing them a world they aren’t a part of and gave them the money instead, maybe they would have a friggin future! But bless, now that the film is a friggin overnight Oscar laden success (with a soundtrack to boot) the Indian authorities are going to move the kids and their families out of the slums into new houses An official said the children had “brought laurels to the country” and deserved to be rewarded. Whew, lucky for them the film won!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

One Way To Get Rid of Lice

Nah, thats just mom getting rid of her lice

Nah, thats just mom getting rid of her lice

Oh dear, did no one ever warn you against washing your hair in gasoline, even if you do have friggin lice?  Hmm, evidently not. An Indiana woman who was sick and tired of the creepy crawlies running through her hair, decided to kill the little pests by washing her hair  in petrol. That’s fine honey, but don’t go and friggin stand next to a water heater. Next thing she knew, whoosh, hair on fire. I bet those lice got the fright of their lives “run for it she’s going to blow!”. Luckily for the woman she escaped with minor injuries, as for the lice, they are receiving counselling!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin loon Nominee, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Car theft 101

Oh for goodness sakes friggin open will you!

Oh for goodness sakes friggin open will you!

Remember people, when breaking into a car the first thing you should know is how to friggin get out, OK! Seems a bumbling car thief in Adelaide locked himself in the car he was stealing and couldn’t get out. Oh dear, when the police arrived they found the embarrassed 53 year old trying to duck under the upholstery. Oh well he is now locked away safe and sound behind bars this time.

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

Groping Was Just Part of the Service

Im just check for temporomandibular disorder, it wont hurt a bit!

Im just check for temporomandibular disorder, it wont hurt a bit!

Alrighty then, I am packing my bags and heading to Woodland, California, where dental treatment includes a chest massage. Hmm, seems dentist Mark Anderson, who just happens to have 19 felonies under his belt for skin to skin contact with his patients (in other words copping a feel), explained he was treating his female clients for temporomandibular disorder, or TMD (what the hell is that?). Does it have anything to do with friggin teeth?  I don’t think the jury are going to buy that one! See ya Mr Anderson.

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Filed under Denial, They Live Among Us !

Blow Me Down With A Feather!

So close....

So close....

Oh no, a woman in Devon has died after she innocently chased a feather. Hmm, the 47 year old woman, only known as Marian, was merrily chasing after a feather, which was caught in the wind,when she followed it over a railing. The feather fluttered to the ground and as she  leaned over to pick it up she toppled over the cliff edge (unlucky). The woman is believed to have fallen 80ft to the concrete paths below and died from head injuries. That is why they have fencing and railings I guess!

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Filed under Well I Never, Whoops!

Not Only in The Movies

Boy, do the American’s have something to learn about executing jail breaks. Two of Greece’s most infamous prisoners have made a daring escape yet again out of the country’s most notorious prison, Korydallos. What can only be described as a blatant rub in the face of Greece’s prison system, the two  prisoners, Vassilis Paleokostas and Alket Rizai, were picked up by a low flying helicopter, whilst a women with an AK47 fired at the prison guards. What makes this all the more embarrassing is the two prisoners already escaped in 2006 in a similar fashion . So far a total of 4 prison guards have been arrested and three top Greek officials sacked in the latest escape. Ooh, do I smell bribes? Seems some of those guards had interesting cash injections into their bank accounts. Oh and to add salt into the government’s wounds Paleokostas and Rizai were about to attend a court hearing over their 2006 escape. All and all not a good Greek week. Hmm, no sign of the escapees but they did find the helicopter pilot bound and gagged. Police are now investigating whether there is a link between Pericles Panagopoulos’ kidnapping and the prison break. Seems some of the ransom money paid by  Panagopoulos’ wife could have been used in the helicopter plot. Ooh, could that mean the whole kidnapping thingy was a huge set-up??? I certainly hope Mr Panagopoulos ain’t involved (or his wife!). Hmm, looks like I might have to dust off my deerstalker!
You wanna see the amateur video of the friggin helicopter don’t you? Yes you do and here it is….

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Public Servant Dress Code

No!

No!

All public servants in the city of Zhengzhou in China are on notice. Sorry people, you will no longer be allowed to wear brightly colored clothing to work uhuh and under no circustances are you to wear clothing that doesn’t match. Oh and one more thing, no friggin crazy, unnatural hair styles either. Got it! Yes, Zhengzhou has been declared a Vivienne Westwood free zone! Officials from the  predominantly rural city  have laid down the new clothing regulations which are “designed to improve the image of our public servants,”. Hmm, what were they before, friggin clowns?

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Bill Dispute Gets Ugly

But did it taste Ok?

But did it taste Ok?

Hmm, Ok people, choose your taverna wisely when in Cyprus. Three disgruntled men opened fire at a grill taverna in Mesana and threatened to torch the place after an argument over the bill. Oh boy, $120 (93 Euros) for drinks and meals obviously wasn’t fair and reasonable because two of them left in a huff only to return with a friggin can of petrol and a shotgun. Hello, did you not read the menu first? The restaurant owner and diners dodged the spray of bullets and probably prayed that the police would arrive before the men ignited the petrol they had splashed around their feet. Not to worry, police arrived just in time. No word on whether they eventually fixed up the bill though!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong

Friggin 3D Street Art

Edgar Mueller 3D Street ArtOK, want to see something totally bizarre it will make your mind play tricks? Meet German artist Edgar Mueller, the man behind “Mind the Crevasse”. Mr Mueller has mastered the art of 3D street art, giant optical illusions which make flat surfaces into friggin gaping crevasses, ravines and volcanic river torrents. Hmm, basically anything that represents a frightening scenario. Mr Mueller says of his unusual art ‘I like to think that later, when they returned home, they might reflect more on what a frightening scenario it was and say, “Wow, that was actually pretty scary”.’ Now, if only other graffiti artists put their skills to good use! Wanna see how it’s done? Watch the video and be inspired…Ooh and by the way it took five days working 12 hours a day to create the 250sqm crevasse.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never