Monthly Archives: April 2009

Stay Between the Lines Children

Color me WTF. The Federal Emergency Management Agency have released their latest disaster-preparedness coloring book for kids which includes…wait for it…a picture of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York. Not so bad you say? Yeah, well did I forget to mention one of the towers is on fire and a plane is heading straight for the other one. Hmm, I am thinking hell no. Cue complaints!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

Them’s the Breaks

OK and here I was thinking my arse was too big! Queensland politician Hajnal Ban (aka Sara Vornamen) had a touch of short woman syndrome, so she hopped on a plane and flew to Russia where for 9 months she endured an excruciatingly painful leg lengthening procedure.The bone growth surgery involved having each of her legs broken in 4 different places thus allowing them to grow a 1mm a day. Hmm, now Hajnal can boast being 162cm instead of her original height of 154cm. OK, do the maths people …8cms for 9 months of pain and rehabilitation (ever thought of high heels?). The reasoning behind Hjnal’s journey was the belief that her height affected her credibility “I get tired of people focusing on the physical side of me because I feel like I have a lot to offer and I’m a qualified lawyer,”. I am thinking it stems more from the fact that you were called “Midget” at school. Please, I don’t see anyone pulling the piss on Judge Judy and you can put her in your top pocket (not that I would ever think of it Miss Sheindlin). The cosmetic surgery cost the Logan councillor about $40,000. Insecurity issues gone.com.
You can read about her journey in her book “God Made Me Small, Surgery Made Me Tall”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Billy Don’t Be A Hero!

Move over Kim Jong Il we have a new anti hero. A Kiwi fugitive is fast becoming a cult hero after his brazen escapes from police. William “Billy” Stewart has been running amok stealing and evading New Zealand police for months, much to the public’s delight. He has managed to slip through their fingers over 7 times.The massive swing from felon to legend happened after he stole a few pies from a farm kitchen and scratched a thank you message in the table signed “Billy the Hunted One”. Everyone loves a cheeky crim. His popularity has become so widespread that “Where’s Billy” T-shirts are now selling online for $47. Students in Hamilton have even suggested a National Where’s Billy Day “It’s about having some fun while drinking one beer for each evasion of capture,”. Police believe he sleeps in rural areas by day and then lurks at night. They describe him as an armed 47-year-old Caucasian, 177cm tall, of thin build, and has a No 2 haircut (hmm, which just about identifies every middle aged Kiwi).
I suppose their are worse people to glorify than dangerous, methamphetamine-addicted loners (ain’t that right Winehouse?).

UPDATE : Dagnabbit, New Zealand’s most wanted Crim has been caught. Billy was nabbed after trying to steal a quad bike. Watch the sales of t-shirts plummet now!

Psst Wanna can read more about William “Billy” Stewart ?

A must watch news report on the elusive Billy…

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Never Fear Shadow Hare Is Here

Sleep easy Cincinnati you now have your very own superhero roaming the streets at night keeping the city safe from the bad guys. He goes by the name of Shadow Hare and wears a spandex suit (his identity a well kept secret). He doesn’t really possess any superpowers of note but he does have balls. Patrolling the streets at night wearing that getup is brave by any standard. Shadow Hare is just one of many  crime fighters who belong to the “Allegiance of Heroes” including Aclyptico in Pennsylvania, Wall Creeper in Colorado and Master Legend in Florida. Blessed with the power of “citizens arrest” this masked avenger carries handcuffs, pepper spray and a taser. Ooh but don’t be fooled the job comes with it’s dangers, Shadow Hare once had his shoulder dislocated helping a woman who was being mugged. Despite this he says “My message to Cincinnati is that there is still hope and all we have to do is stand together,”. OK good people of Cincinnati, do not and I repeat do not, mug, tease or dak  him, hopefully he will grow out of it sooner or later (before some gets hurt). You can find out more about the world’s latest super hero on his MySpace page.

Psst I don’t know what would be worse, finding a gun in your boyfriends Grays Anatomy book or a spandex superhero suit hanging in his wardrobe!

Come on I can’t make this stuff up…it’s true…check out the video.

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

Too Much Salt!

OK, people with small children or those with sensitive stomachs you might just want to step away from this blog entry. Hmm,some of you may remember Leanne Salt the 40 stone British woman who delivered triplets last August. Come on think back, she was the one who had a 68 strong medical team for the delivery, which cost taxpayers £200,000 and included the specially-built operating table to handle her weight. Well Ms Salt is back. Now having dropped down to 30 stone she has hit the headlines once again. Seems the 24 year old has passed on some of her bad eating habits to the triplets, admitting she likes to feed them Maccas because she is way too busy to cook. Each baby is consuming around 1,249 calories a day (equivalent to Lohan’s yearly intake). Come on, babies can eat McDonalds as long the food is chewed a little. Ms Salt also admits the 8 month old triplets are fond of fish and chips “but I take the batter off the fish, so I guess that’s healthy.” Ooh and she goes on to say “Anyway, they don’t always have junk food – sometimes I cook a microwave meal for them.”(isn’t that reheating?).Well apart from the food issues there is a little domestic one to boot, hmm seems the old house is full of unwashed laundry and piles of toys. Urgh and there is just that little question of hygiene… Ms Salt says she and her babies only get dressed and go out once a week to collect her benefits. Whoops, did I forget to mention benefits…silly me!

Oh go on read the full story in the Daily Mail if you simply have to!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !

A Kleenex Mr President?

How Swine Flu flies !

How Swine Flu flies !

Holy handshake Batman. Obama has been tested for the Swine Flu after shaking hands with a Mexican Archaeologist who dropped dead the following day with  flu like symptoms. I’d keep scrubbing thoses hands Mr President! Felipe Solis was Mr Obama’s tour guide during a trip to a Mexican museum last week. Dear god, a President dying of Swine Flu in his first 100 days outrageous (that is only reserved for Popes!). The White House has been in overdrive assuring the press that all is well. Hmm, maybe Michelle should sleep in the spare room?

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Filed under Denial, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !

Cop That!

German cops robs bank using police car and pistol

Hey, isnt that Juergen?

OK here’s the thing, if you are going to rob a bank please wear a mask and don’t use your police issue pistol or your unmarked patrol car. Juergen Richter, a cop from Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany, got himself  knee deep in debt and decided on the spur of the moment to rob a bank. Doh! It didn’t take long for police to identify the culprit after watching the CCTV footage.

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin loon Nominee, Well I Never