Another Reason To Hate Needles

Yep, its got all the markings of a Singer

What? He died from a sewing injury?

Gosh, Singer Sewing machine could have quite inadvertently become the supplier of a crucial part of a deadly World War II weapon had it ever gone ahead. Ah, who am I kidding Singer were up to their neck in providing ammunition and weapons for the Allies while their  factories in Germany provided Nazis with weapons too. Fence sitting opportunists!

Anywho, newly released Top Secret War Office papers revealed plans by Allies to unleash a nasty weapon which could produced a cloud of tiny poison darts laced with mustard gas. The concept, which had been tested by scientists and on sheep,  was to blast a canister full of the deadly needles above the battlefield and let them shower down on the enemies. Any soldier unlucky enough to be pricked by the needles was promised a fast but horrendous death. Soldiers who pulled out the needle within 30 seconds were promised an even more excruciating demise.

The scientists went so far as to contact Singer Sewing Machines Co Ltd in Bristol, who were a tad confused about what they had been asked to produce  “From your remarks, it would seem that the needles are required for some other purpose, other than sewing machines.” (come on, don’t act dumb). In the report it also stated the darts were never used because they were a “highly uneconomical weapon” (and friggin fiddly to make by the sounds of it). Geez and not to mention friggin dangerous, imagine friendly fire with one of those!

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt

2 responses to “Another Reason To Hate Needles

  1. jammer5

    Tiny Mustard Darts of Death playing at Skimpys bar and grill, downtown Eye, 8 to 12. $9 cover charge at the door. Free atropine injections (or hotdogs, if you so desire. Ketchup extra.)

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